Hi! I'm Claude the Cat. This is my first really long entry since I don't have opposable thumbs. It's hard to type on your human keyboards with paws. I translated this to human speak so you could read this.
The other day, I was having my usual day... Sleeping... Eating... Playing...Making pee and poo... Snuggling my humans and staring out of windows. I've never been much of an outdoor cat. But once in a while... I get that urge. That urge to be free and roam with the wild cats outside. I feel I'm no longer equipped for such, being I am an amputee. When I was younger I had these long pretty nails. Then one day they put me in a blue box and took me to that place with the cold table. Later, after I woke up, feeling veeeeerrrry content with myself...I noticed I was missing my lovely nails! Now we aren't talking a trip to a salon for a pedicure either. They were MISSING! Some butcher took them out of my paws! I curse them with many kitty curses.
Ok.. I digressed.
The last few months I've been watching my humans get all gushy over this other cat that looks like me. He lives outside. They bring him food regularly and they talk to him through the window and sometimes I do too. Lately, they've taken valuable ME time and given some of it to spending time with HIM!
In the big mans dark place where he sleeps on this big soft black thing, there is a window where the outside cat and I can see each other. We are only separated by some hard clear stuff, that could really use a cleaning. I sit on the machine that sometimes makes noise and blows cold air. One day I saw they had a thin piece of something next to the noisy machine. I had seen the big man bend it open and put his hand outside and onto the outside cat.
I'm not sure I liked that idea. I only like it when they put their hand s on me. Why they needed to touch this dirty cat, I don't know. His fur is dirty and he looks young and stupid. They can't POSSIBLY think he is better looking than I.
So let me get back to this one particular day. The big man was not in the house, the big woman was in another room sleeping. I highly recommend these cat naps. While she was asleep, I heard that outside cat call again. He was on the outside, standing on the noisy cold air machine. I decided to try and say hello to him. I shall tell you of our conversation, translated from mreowr, the cat language.
"Hello again. My name is Claude. I don't believe I got your name before."
"I am called Bey"
Claude:"Nice to meet you Bey. I've seen you out and about before."
Bey:"Yes...your humans are very nice people. They bring me food, and recently I have let them put their hands on me as a reward."
Claude:"I've noticed. However, I'm not entirely sure I am happy with that idea."
Bey: "It's alright. I need my freedom to roam which is far more important than acquiring your humans."
Claude:"Well...I hope so, Bey, I truly do. Tell me....what is it LIKE out there, this...Freedom you speak of"?
Bey: "You don't know what freedom is? Have you ever even BEEN outside here alone?"
Claude: "Alone? Golly no! Why would I ? I see all types of big mean things scary things in the darkness, like those big animals with the masks and the others with the stripes that smell bad."
Bey: "Oh, the raccoons and skunks you mean. Tell me, do you think you could find a way out? I'd like to show you a few things of my world outside"
Claude: "Oh I don't know.... The big people don't seem to like it when I try to see the outside. I may get in trouble and then they scream at me."
Bey: " You're a cat! Do you think we as cats care what others think besides ourselves? Besides...We've been here quite a while, I see no one upset that you are here talking to me."
Claude: "Hmmm.... I suppose you are correct. Let's see... If I pull on this brown stuff... No...maybe push... Oh I don't knoooooooow!"
The hard thing fell outward a little at this time.
Bey: "NOW you're getting it! C'mon! Climb through! I want to show you my world!"
Claude: "Hmmm....I'm sure I should be able to come back through when I'm done... Alright! Here I come!!"
Well, that's how my adventure started... I'll return to tell you the rest. Time for me to go knock things off table tops for now.