Dear Taryn,
I have never spoken to you or really gotten to know you, however everyone says that you are wise, so I now approach you with my troubles.
There is a member of my clan that I just cannot stand. When this person was clanned we had a very different relationship, I suppose you could say we were the best of friends, I even put forth myself as their sponsor. Now, this person largely ignores me and I them.
Ignoring each other seemed to have worked fine for a while, however, now its just eatting at me how much everyone just adores this person, and now I feel like an outcast. At present I just stay in my private airship hangar and provide assistance to people that require it and work on my airships with very little clan interaction.
I went to a fellow clan member with my issue and was criticized also from time to time, I still recieve criticism from this member. I have thought about leaving the clan but I am not sure if my reasons would be fully entertained by the current leadership since everyone adores said person, I am also unsure of this course of action since I was in this clan before them.
Signed,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous:
Dealing with people who make life less than fun can be quite a pain.
When I come across situations like this, I look at two things:
1. How did the conflict get started
2. How do I make myself comfortable around them.
First off, I look at the conflict. If I can calmly discuss it with the object of my loathing, I do. Most times things can be solved this way. Other times they cannot. Another way to bring the conflict out in a positive manner is to bring it to your clan leadership. If you feel that the leadership of your clan is unable to be objective, then consider having a neutral party at the meeting.
Secondly, how do you make yourself comfortable in the face of adversity. I
will admit that hiding out in an airship is not the first thing I would think to do. We all have to have dealings with people that we do not like, and if a resolution is unable to be agreed upon, then doing what you have been doing, ignoring the person, is best.
Don't allow yourself to be upset by the person's status or their standing within the clan. Also, don't miss out on opportunities to make new friends and have new experiences within your clan. Getting active can take your mind off of things and allows you to work yourself back into the group. Maybe through working together with this person in clan activity could mend the rift that you have.
I hope this little messages gives you some insight and allows you to make a
decision that is best for you.
Good luck,
Taryn
Posted by Taryn at November 28, 2006 08:27 PM