My diet had been consistently boring, being made up of these hard dry meat flavoured compressed granules. They don't provide any real effort to stalk, kill or devour. There is no feeling of accomplishment in finding them, they are always in the same place.
I took it upon myself to enter into an adventure of grand proportions. Mine eyes alit upon the mystery that is the top of the chilling food cabinet the humans' call a refridgerator. I studied the dilemma for many days, planning my avenue of attack. I settled on the direct, ricochet course, climbing the dining chair to the table; the table to the kitchen counter; the kitchen counter to the window sill; the window sill to the cabinet top; along the cabinet top to the goal of the refridgerator.
Naturally I caused many items to topple and fall to the ground, breaking. The way I see it, they shouldn't have been placed betwixt me and my goal in the first place.
From atop the fridge I found an unopened bag full of the tantalizing scent of salt. The humans had no way of knowing that I had a distinct hankering for the stuff on this particular day, so I proceeded to claw and rend this bag container open and devoured the potatoey salt chips inside until I had gorged myself into a gluttonous stupor. It was then that I discovered my error.
I had planned well the ascension to the prize, but neglected to notice that the descent via the same route was treacherous and nigh impossible in my food intoxicated state. I was caught red pawed.
The humans were stymied when they found me atop their fridgerator later that day. I blame them totally for ignoring my yowls to be removed from the structure. The fact that they weren't home is no excuse.
Posted by Mai Tai at August 8, 2005 05:32 AM