Siamese Sensibilities

Intruder!

There is an intruder in the house. This little white and grey monstrosity that struts about the house as if she owns the place. Jumping about like a lemur after every dangling bit of string. She even chases those fake mouse shaped toys that I disdain to even sniff at. She has no dignity whatsoever.

AND, the beast has been making raids upstairs to use MY litterbox. Will the insanity never end!

Contribute to Sensibilities

Are you a feline of the Siamese purrsuasion? Would you like to contribute your sensibilities to this weblog for others to share? If so, just contact my human slave, ravennacht, and request to be added as an author to this esteemed tome of felinicity. He will want a picture of your imperial siamese majesty and a name to use for your category admissions. Those that overstep the bounds of feline propriety shall be summarily evicerated from said access (sharpens claws and hisses) so you best behave!

Not gifted in being born a siamese? No matter, our illustrious host, Claude, has prodded his human slave, Webkittyn, into providing a haven for any who wish to share their thoughts with the world. Be ye canine, feline, rodent (yummy, I'll pay you a visit), avian or any other form of fauna, feel free to fill out the request form for your very own weblog. Leave me a note here in my comments and I will be sure to link back to you! We animals must stick together and combat homo sapien oppression!

Just Say No

It is time to stop the lieing. I know I am hurting my slaves with my concealment of the truth.

I am an addict. My addiction, those silky smooth strands of webbing that all those many legged bugs leave for me all over the house. I just cannot get enough of that gooey, sticky texture in my mouth, its just like that human gum thing. Sometimes you even get the bonus of a bug flavor from something caught in the web, that's always a special treat.

I must shamefully admit that I have special stashes of webbing all over the house. Hidden in certain corners; in the grate of the refrigerator; under the lip of the kitchen cabinets; around the heating furnace or water heater... all those places where the human slaves rarely see, but I can always get my fix when I really really need it.

I grudgingly admit to the afteraffects of said addiction. You can only eat so many spiderwebs before your stomach revolts. I have long blamed the other cat or dogs for the sudden regurgative evidence left about. Little did they suspect it was me, now I admit to it.

I just wish I knew how to stop. I wish I wanted to stop. Damn that slave with the broom cleaning the corners!

Window Replacement

The sanctity of the domicile has been violated by humans wandering about the wild out of doors with implements in their crude claw-less paws. All day long they attacked the house with their clubs, succeeding in removing all of the clear viewing panels and putting new ones in their place, which seems highly dubious and an illogical course of action to me when they spent so long getting the originals out. I mean, were they trying to break in, change their mind and now just trying to seal us in, or what.

Some form of liquid was spread into the cracks of the panels that smelled all funky. I anticipate that they will be flinging feces at the glass like the primates in the zoo next. I am highly disturbed by all this activity.

The human slave decided to lock me in the bedroom downstairs, but I howled and threw an absolute fit until I was released. I swear I am going to charge him with False Imprisonment one of these times. I don't know if he thought I was going to bolt out an open hole and get into the wilds or what, but I have absolutely no intention of going near the rough humans circling outside. They look like they prey on anything that moves.

The domicile is full of vapors now. The canines both are acting loopy, it's highly undignified.

Why do I suddenly have the munchies.

Good Golly Miss Molly

The human slave had a hard day today. It seems the blonde behemoth canine, Molly, escaped from its feigned servitude to one of the humans and sought refuge in the wilds of the town. I am uncertain if the beast was seeking some unknown canine underground to smuggle her to the safety or if she was trying to elope with some dastardly feral dog, either way, she ran for it.

All the humans went nuts, some got into the wheeled carriage, another grabbed a two wheeled/pedalled contraption, whilst another ran after the beast. I truly do not understand what all of the hubbub was about, I mean if they had stopped to think they would realize that the fool dog would return when it got hungry. It's not like it could survive on its own or anything.

Anyway, the humans were out for a good hour chasing down the hound. Unfortunately they caught the silly beast. I doubt she will be allowed loose of her bindings from this point on, but you never know how trusting these fool humans will be when you lay on the wide-eyed innocent look, waiting for them to turn their back on you.

Sharing is for the birds...

ooooh birds (DROOOOOOOLS).

The human has declared that this weblog journal now is open to others of the siamese nature. Here I thought I was getting top billing and now I get to share (coughs).

I never met this Mai Tai before, but the human says she was around and about the domicile well before I was even born. Go figure, she must be scratching out these messages from the grave or something. The human says she's quite different from me, we shall see.

*mutters about sharing*

Infidels

I was lounging quite nicely in my window sash, languidly taking in each ray of the sun, when I peeled open my eyelids to survey the scenery through the screen. What did my half drowsed orbs behold, but some two-bit feral cat skritching up close to the window, low to the ground like it was stalking me.

Well, needless to say, I wasn't going to allow some vermin riddled scrap eater think it had any right to even glance in my direction. I immediately assumed the "Don't F*** with me" stance. Which if you do not know, involves laying of ears flat against one's head, bushing one's tail up like a squirrel, and growling and hissing a lot.

Naturally the vagrant ran for cover, but I was already pissed, so I had to make a circuit of the house interior, following the beast's progress out of my domain from each window. I sure showed him.

The humans are supposed to keep these encroaching bastids out of my realm. I mean, thats what they put those limey dogs outside for. Someone is slacking.

Blind Pedestrian

Cough
Cough
Hack
Hack
O' What a relief, I sigh

Cough
Cough
Horph
Horph
Up comes the furball, let fly.

Run away
Run away
Human comes
Human comes
Squish goes the toe.

Screams
Screams
Curses
Curses
Watch where you go, everyone should know.

Cyclical Nature

Licking leads to fur in the system. Fur in the system leads to hacking. Hacking leads to dishevelled fur. Dishevelled fur leads to licking.

Of Wiring and Shelf Perches

The slave has installed his new desk in the room, which absolutely drew my curious nature right over to investigate and stake claim to the sundry pieces as my own. There is now a bookshelf attached to his computer desk, upon which I now perch my everloving self upon to look down upon my beleugered slave as he pecks away at his computer.

He has been screaming at me daily about chewing upon the wires under the desk. I have seen him under there, and if he bothered to look close enough, he would notice I am not actually CHEWING into the plastic or anything, just mouthing it for the sake of getting him riled up. He has no humor, forcing me to sit through an inane showing of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation where some tard of a persian bit through the christmas lights.

Well, we all know how stupid persians are. No finesse. Uppity, snooty, rich cats! As if I compare in any way, shape, or manner, puhlease.

Powerless and Frigid in Ohio

Not to be confused with Sleepless in Seattle or Dazed and Confused.

The last three days have been horrendous. We have had no electricity nor heat owing to a massive ice storm that struck downing nearly all of the trees, not only in our own yard, but throughout the whole area. The town had no power, several cities nearby had no power, and the counties shut down all traffic for two days (level 3 winter emergency, you get arrested if you are out on the roadways).

All the first night, as it rained and froze, you could hear the trees creaking and splitting, then the thunderous booms as the limbs fell to the ground and hit the earth. I was forced to run underneeth the bed many times and hide between the boxes because the crashes were so frequent and scary.

The slaves all slept downstairs and boxed off the room with blankets to retain heat from a small propane heater. Even I deigned to sleep in there, because the rest of the house was absolutely freezing. There was little light save what came from candles and these light wand things called flashlights. At least the water still worked.

When everyone got up the first day, we discovered what you see in the images below. The only thing that was different from the pictures was that the tree actually fell on the human slave's vehicle. He was quite irritated about that fact, yet when he went out the other day and cleaned off all the ice, it seems that there was little to no damage owing to the fact that the ice that covered the car (two inches) was so thick that the tree did no damage to it when it hit. Profoundly intriguing if you ask me.

The humans did nothing much save read books by these clippy flashlight thingies, candles, move the canines from one area to another with the assistance of a rolling orb which was chased (what a stupid concept), and play some intriguing game involving bits of hand sized card board with strange figures painted upon them.

At least the power is back on, I can sleep upstairs again and be warm. The humans are busy attempting to break up limbs and carry them to the front... BUT it snowed over night last night and now there are three inches of snow over everything. This is highly amusing.

Flu Bug

It is my humble opinion that the slave is possessed. Short of his head spinning like a top, he seems to be having a bout of the furballs himself because he's doing the same thing I always do, but for some reason he always runs for the white porcelain water fountain when he does it. I mean, when I do that, I just do it as I gotta do it, why expend the energy to be neat. The remainder of the time he lies in the bed groaning and sleeping.

The other humans have returned from wherever they were before. No one brought me anything! I always thought that you were supposed to get presents after a long trip. HARUMPH!

The canines are sequestered to the back porch area again. The blonde brute made many attempts to attack me during the course of the last few weeks, for which she was soundly yelled at by the slave. She also managed to make the old man get hurt by pushing him into a door frame. The poor little thing yelped so much that I ran downstairs to see what happened. She got put outside for a couple hours for that stunt.

Someone actually took the time to comb me last night. A chore I definitely enjoy and has been few and far between. I'm considering cutting the slave's rations til he gets his act together.

Unjust Entrapment

I was out upon the prowl early this morning, and was playing with the boxes the human has left in the corner of the bedroom. The night before, I had watched the crazy creature moving and rifling through them in search of two books, a most amusing practice indeed, as it seemed that the ones he wants are always in the bottom-most box, necessitating the movement of the whole pile.

Needless to say, after moving the boxes, the human was worn out, or lazy, and didn't put them all back. Naturally, this affected my whole sense of order and proper placement and I was forced to investigate this new setup. Of course, I waited until well after the human was unconscious to ensure that I was not observed, tis always best not to let them know that you have any interest in their actions.

I had jumped onto one of the boxes and was alarmed when I sank into it like quicksand. To add insult to injury, the damnable flaps flipped back up, closing the box over me. I scrambled and jumped but couldn't get back through the wedged flaps to make an escape. I was forced to enjoin my most pitiful of yowling to wake up the slave to release me from this unjust entrapment. I do have to admit, that he didn't even look halfway cognizant of space or time, mumbling something about "4a.m." and not even bothering to put on the fake eyes that stick off the front of his face. He went right back to bed, literally falling face first into the pillows after releasing me.

I was so indignant about the whole episode, I have resolved to ignore the boxes from now on.

Well, unless they get moved again. But thats it.

Well, unless some others are left open that I haven't snooped yet. But that's absolutely the limit.

Well, I could see if he turned them a certain way, that could completely affect everything.

*ponder*

I wonder what's in that box again.

Christmas Indignities

The indignities do not stop. I should have known when the humans came back and began conniving together in giggles and laughs. DAMN my feline curiosity! I was engrossed as they pulled item after item out and dressed up the insipid canines.

First, the big brute got it, and can you believe it, the fool dog couldn't even conceive that she was being made fun of. She actually smiled!

Next, they picked on the old man, putting piece after piece on my poor beast of burden. Don't they know that the elderly deserve respect!

I knew, in the back of my mind, that I was probably next, but I was engrossed by the sheer ludicrous nature of the dogs to keep watching. I even tried to run when I caught the eye of the slave, but he caught me and did the unspeakable!

I plot sweet revenge, you can see it in my eyes.

Commemoration

***OOC***
Today we had to put down our other cat, Salem. I'm highly upset about it, shed some tears, hugged on Sierra til she bit me. I know it had to happen. The poor old girl had become increasingly more crazy in the head and was exhibiting serious indications of kidney failure. She lived for 15+ years and her codgery self shall be missed by the menagerie of the house, the dogs (Devo and Molly), the cat (Sierra), myself and the other humans. Thank you for being such a good pet. Goodbye cranky kitty.

Tail Assault

Nothing infuriates me more than having my tail stepped on. Can I help it that the underdeveloped humans lack the appendage and are wont for understanding of just how tender and sensitive it is! DO NOT TOUCH MY TAIL!

Don't mind me, I'm going to avenge myself upon the human's shoes.

Indignant over Tail Violation

Feline calls for ruling on blatant tail violation. I was minding my own business, disrupting the human's attempts to scan pictures from a book, when all of a sudden I found my beautiful tail violated by sundry sticky bits of paper that had been placed there by the laughing half-wit. I was NOT amused. I swished it, I twisted it. THEY WOULDN'T COME OFF! I finally got so infuriated that I ripped them off with my teeth, the indignity of it all, to be forced to act like a lowly dog. I plot revenge even as I listen to their laughs downstairs. It shall be sweet.