I had a good dreem last night. I dreemd Niko dint die an the darkniss dint come. We was livin in a small house outside of town an had five childrin, two girls an three boys and anather on thah way. I called them Dorra, Nikolas Jr., Tzoli the III (a good boy named after me and my pa), Jeri, and lil Silvia. We dint hav lots of monees, but we had anuff.
It was my birthday and evaryone had gottin me a presint. It was all wrapped up in red paper with a big yellow string. I opind it and inside was a teapot importid frum thah Tir Lands. It was beeutaful. I was veree happy. We all sat at the table eatin a big cake with extra hony drizzld on it. Lil Silvia sed she had anothur presint fer me. She ran off to her room and brot out a lil box. I opind it and inside was a red flower she had pikt frum the feeld behind our house. She climed up on my lap and put her ear to my big belly and askt me if I coud make sure she had a lil brother inside me. I laffd a bit and sed id try my best. She kissd my tummy with her lil child lips then reechd up an kissd my cheek with them.
All of my childrins was veree smart, like Niko eksept not blind or nuthin. They lookd like me and my mum a lil bit, with long straight hair like Niko's tho. They was happy and I was happy. I made tea in my new teapot and we all made a wish, holdin our mugs in the air. I wishd all of my childrin to be as blessd and as happy as I was. We ate cake and drankd tea and laff and told storees til late at night. I carreed Silvia intah bed in the room she shared with her sister. I tuct her in and kissed her forehead, then went an kissd Dorra's also. I sed goodnight to all my boys who were strong and smart and good at evarything they did. I wundered how all these wunderful things coud come out of me.
Me and Niko sat up near the fire holdin hands. He was smaller then I ramembered, but mor gentil. He kissd my face, sumthin he never did whin he was alive an told me he lovd me veree much. He ran his fingers over my face lookin at it like he did whin he was alive. I was so happy I thot I woud explod.
Then I woke up.
I felt all empty agin, like I had missd sumthin. I thot I coud feel lil Silvia's kissis on my cheek and Niko's hand in mine, but insted I was alon. It was like sumthin wunderful had bin taken away frum me. I tryd to go bac to sleep and make the dreem come agin, but I coudnt find sleep or the happiniss in that dreem.
I want to be a mommy. I want to have childrin to take care of. I want to see them grow up and be happy. I want that so much, so veree much. I want to be marreed and just live quietlee. That is what I want.
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Posted by: 500 Cobra Ford Gt Mustang at June 21, 2006 03:08 AMMike Furir Mike 397
Posted by: Mike Furir 263 at March 10, 2006 10:50 PMMike Furir Mike 729
Posted by: Mike Furir 299 at March 10, 2006 10:50 PMMike Furir Mike 397
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Posted by: Mike Furir 894 at March 10, 2006 10:50 PMMike Furir Mike 729
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Posted by: Mike Furir 408 at March 7, 2006 10:07 PMWow, I really enjoyed reading this entry - not many people write about aspirations in this way - not the idle wishful sort. It was a really refreshing change :)
Posted by: Aavak at October 22, 2004 06:43 AMHehe, Tzoli the III made me laugh :)
Posted by: Jesmin at October 21, 2004 03:57 PM