I am tryin to get used to myself all over agin. Its hard. I was veree much used to myself. I liked myself even. Then this new thing happind. Now its like my own voice is very quiet compared to other peepuls. I used to think I had a loud voiss inside of me, but not I dunt no.
((name here is scratched out to a black mark)) said that Melchior is the God of wisdom. He said that I must be wise in my own way to be chosin by him. He said you dunt have to be smart to be wise. I dunt think I'm neether one to be honist. I think I'm just me. It was hard bein me befor with evaryone bein to smart and pretty, now its harder.
At least now I no most peepul dunt think bad of me. They like me and I can make them happy. Maybe if I try a little harder, I can help peepul more. I want to, but I think mebbe I may crack. If I hear them call me foul things, I may lose my temper and show myself to them whin I shoudnt. If peepul no, they will hurt me, this is what I was told.
I was also told to be careful of peepul who are like me. If I have to be careful of peepul like me, then why am I like them attall? Its veree hard to lern a new way to be I think.
Ah well, at leest if sumone likes me and wants to have babees with me I'll know and it will be easier to git marreed and start a fam'lee. I think I'll have babees with the first person who realy wants to be with me cuz I want to have babees mor than I want to do anathin else. I'll have six of them, mostlee boys. Yes. thats how it will be. At leest if that is how Im allowed to be.
Posted by Tzoli at October 29, 2004 11:07 PM