Tzoli's Red Leather Journal

Dreams in Colour: Violet

Inside a rather large house, before the fire. Large stuffed couches covered in violet velvet. The house is warm, not only in temperature, but also in spirit. The fire dances not with a plain yellow flame, but rather with a violet one.

This is not real...This is a dream...

All at once, five smiling children run up, ranging in ages. The eldest of the children looks at the onlooker, sitting on the large couch beside her. She places her hands on the swollen belly, her creamy chocolate skin running over the soft purple silks of the dress.

"Momma... will it be a boy or a girl?" she asks, leaning her ear against the large belly. "You always seem to know, like you did with Little Niko and little Tzoli. And Jeri and Silvia too. Will this one be a boy or a girl? I'd like another little sister."

A large dark hand rests on the smaller one, "A little girl? I'll see what I can do." She looks into the child's face and smiles, rubbing her cheek. "Shall we brush your hair then? You can do your Silvia's." A small baby, barely able to walk stumbles into it's big sisters legs. "Dor-dor, pig-pig piggy tail." The baby giggles as she speaks, her skin dark like her mother's.

The boys gather around, "Momma, how much longer do we have to wait for our new brother?" the eldest asks, his smooth black hair slicked off of his face. He wears purple pantaloons and a clean white shirt. The youngest boy looks at his older brother and grabs at his shirt, "Niki...tell momma tah makah boy." The older brother ties to remove the hand from his clean shirt, the toddler instead leaving a grubby handprint on his clean shirt which he looks upon with distaste. "Momma...tell Jeri not to mess up my clean clothes."

The hugely pregnant woman leans down and scoops up the little boy. She runs her fingers through his kinky hair. "You really like your brother, don't you?" she asks him instead of scolding, "Who do you want to be like when you grow up? Niko jr or daddy?" The toddler screws up his face, his violet eyes glinting against the strange firelight. "I wanna be like momma!" he says, looking rather pleased with his answer.

This isn't real...

The children cry out briefly, then return to smiling and asking about the new baby. Fear enters the heart, spinning around it, then chased away by the little hand of the child that rests on her knee. "Who want to help momma with setting the table? Today is poppa's birthday so let's make it extra nice, okay?" The older children scamper off, led not by the eldest, but rather by the middle child, a dark eyed, dark skinned boy. He doesn't speak much, but wears his emotion openly on his face. "He's just like me. He's just like me, little Tzoli is just like me." The though dances and the boy turns around and smiles at his mother.

This is a dream... don't end, please don't end...

Breath catches in the throat as the two hold their dark eyes to one another. "Thank you momma...I try to make you proud." They blink at one another, then the boy turns, walking toward the dining room with his brothers and sister to set the table.

This isn't real, I'm not one of them any more. This isn't real...

The baby walks over to her mother and tries to crawl into her lap along with the little boy. "Jeri, make some room for your sister." He scooches onto one knee and the baby climbs up the thick skirts. She rests her face on the swollen belly. "Momma gunna giveee a sissy," she says, her little face lighting up.

"You think so? Well, maybe, maybe so."

The baby looks up at her mother and tears start to roll down her face. "This not reeel momma, we gotta go away now."

Tears blur the vision and everything fades away save for the violet flame of he fire. The stomach shrinks, laying flat, almost concave, the expensive skirts turn to leather and pants. "Come back, please come back. Don't leave me alone here. My babies...please come back."

The violet flame warms the body, calming the heart. It looks the same through clear eyes or those floating with tears. The flame grows, glowing brightly for a moment, then fades away.

You knew it wasn't real. This is a dream.

Wake up.

LIVE

Posted by Tzoli at March 8, 2005 09:41 AM