I had a dreem last nite. It was a dreem abot Rylian. In my dreem he sed goodbye to me. He touchd my hand and my arm, he kissd my brand and my scars. He kissed my forehed and my lips just one time tho and then he was gone. His lips was cold and felt like... like mist or fog or something. Like cold smoke. I tryd to grab him, but my fingars went thru him.
I woke up and I coud not feel nuthing. Not evin sadniss. I had a shock. All of me was cold. I coud not move fer a long time, jus lay ther. I do not no if Sehki was sleeping on the floor, all I coud heer was my own breething and my own hart.
Wen my feelings came bak, I felt veree lonlee. A big, sinking lonlee... like I will never be loved agin. It felt good to have love like that. Evin tho Melchior told me to test him, and Melchior sed to leeve him, I still miss him. In my hed, I no Melchior was rite tho. Melchior is always rite. I loved Rylian allot, but love Melchior mor. I think it hurt mor wen Melchior left me then wen Rylian left me. I no it hurt mor. Rylian left me an emptiniss in my hart, Melchior left me an emptiniss in my soul. Harts are eesier to heel then souls I think.
I can barelee ramembar how Rylian's love felt. How he feeled fer me, I ramembar, but it is mixed up with othar feelings. The feeling Melchior woud hug me with was so reel. So pure and simpal, I nevar had no doubt abot it. I want that feeling bak mor than I want Rylian's love bak.
Aftar my dreem I got the feeling I shoud say sorry to Nybrylla fer all the meen things I sed to her ovar Rylian. She and me had a strongar bond thru Melchior and I shoud not have bin so selfish to say things abot Rylian. It was dum of me to be so silly ovar him and now I am sorree.
I wundar wat it woud feel like fer Melchior to kiss me. I bet it woud not feel like the cold smoke like Rylian. I bet it woud be warm and fill me up insted of leeving me emptee. I bet Balor woud feel like fire... not the hurting kind, the good kind.
Posted by Tzoli at June 7, 2005 08:53 AM