It is veree cold lat'lee. I askt for ahnuthur blankit, but the nursis sed I shoud not be so greedy. They sed the same thing wen I askt fer sum watar. I woke up cold aftar I fell asleep frum the drink they gave me.
I think I saw Sehki and Bjar last night, but I do not reelee ramembar to well. It is hard to tell if I was awake or if I was sleeping. The drink they gave me took away the pain, but it made my hed fuzzy and weerd. I tryd to focus, but I coud not do it veree well. I do not ramembar wat I talked abot with Sehki. I think Bjar told me sumthing also. I think it was importint, but I do not ramembar. I will have to ask them if I see them today.
I feel veree cold and veree slow. I need a new shirt fer wen I leev today. I think they are letting me leev. I do not no. I do not think they have to cut me opin agin to chek on my insides. I have a big scar frum the Captin. I suppose that is ok. I have lots of scars. No one will evar see that scar aneeway. Like the scar I got frum the wolf beests with the teeth.
Laying here, I hav bin thinking abot Rylian. I think the last time I saw him I was in the hospatal also. I think he came to see me wen I broke my leg. I do not ramembar wen that was. Was it a year ago? Or only a seeson? I wish I had my reel jurnil to chek. The nursis all look at me funny wen I write things down. That is OK. Mebbe they are jeliss I can write attall.
The nursis keep telling me to sleep. I am sik of sleep. I am bord and tird of laying here. I want to move and to train. I do not care if it hurts me, I need to do sumthing. Ther are no childrin here to tell storees to. The orphaninge is gone so there are no childrin frum ther. No childrin attall reelee. Nun of the adults here want to heer my storees. No one wants to talk or heer anything that is good. I hate hospatals. It always feel like the peepul heer want to suffar wen they are heer. I hope I get out soon.
I tryd walking a littal bit today. I can move my leg agin without it hurting my tummy too bad. Evarytime I lift my leg, I feel it in my belly. The same wen I lift my arms or sit up. It is not to bad, but it is annoying to me. It will be hard to train. My prayers to Balor have bin impropar lat'lee cuz I have not bin abal to move much. I tryd to do them this morning, but the nursis got mad with me and made me go bak to bed.
I am writing lots. I think I am writing lots cuz I am bord. Nothing to do and no one to talk to. Mebbe I will sleep. At leest if I sleep I will not be bord. I wish I was tird.
Oh... I have dacidid I will not wine no mor. I hate being winee. It makes me feel week. I hate being week becuz I want to be strong. Balor will be proud of me if I am strong. Not to the Gods and not to myself. No mor wishin and no mor wining. I will not questin the things that happin no mor if I do not understand them. I will just accept them. That is eesier. I will trust in Balor and in Melchior. I will let Them make me alone and let them pull me along as They will.
My pensill is almost gone and I do not have a nife to make it pointy so I shoud stop writing.
Balor Guide me, Melchior Fergive me.
Posted by Tzoli at June 28, 2005 11:01 AM