It is veree cold. I hate Darkfall. It is cold and wet all the time. I do not evin ramembar the last time I saw the suns. I feel... week without them. Turnd arond and weerd. nite and day get all mixd up fer me without them. I think it has rained evaryday this Darkfall and it duz not look like it will stop neethur.
I am working on a play. It is a small play rite now. I think it will be good. I have fond a few peepul to help me with it. I think mebbe I can convinss them to let me show it at the Dragon's Head. I will ask Bjar to help with the costumes. I will need a boy's outfit I think. Mebbe if ther is sumthin to work on batween prayers and training and work, I will feel bettar.
I am still trying to figger out why I have bin so touchee latlee. I think mebbe I have not bin rite sinss I got hurt by the Captin. Sumthing inside me is all... rong. I am trying to think of the rite word.
Unbalansed.
That is it. I feel like I am leening to one side mor and mor. Like I am leening away frum me. I think it is becuz I am not reelee a woman aneemor. My blood did not com, but the heelar sed I did not have a baby. I was eksidid. My mum told me that if you don't have blood, then you have a baby in you. She sed aftar you have a husbind then you can have a baby and the blood wont com. I do not have a husbind so I sappose it was only wishis I had.
I have dasidid that sinss I am not a woman no mor, I will be mor like a man. I got a man shirt and I wear pants alreddee. The only boots that fit me are man boots so I have those alreddee. I am going to cut off all of my hair. It is getting yukee aneeway. I do not like having yukee hair on me. It is hard to cleen rite. I do not no. Mebbe I wont cut it off. I will ask opinions of Sehki and Hemo and Bjar and Aubren. Mebbe I will ask Nybrylla... if I evar see her.
I wish Sky was arond. Then I coud ask her. She woud give me good adviss. Or Sil. But, I promissd myself not to have wishis. So, I will not think those things no mor.
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