It has bin a long time sinss I rote wrote last. The days have bin cold and slow. I hate darkfall. I hate the cold. It bites me hard on the skins and puts shivvers all the way thru me. Evin in my guts. In the Darkfall evaryone goze away. I have not seen nun of my frends fer a long long time. Mebbe they hate me now. I do not no wat I did, but it must have bin bad if they do not come and visit me no mor.
I think I made Bjar mad at me the last time I saw him. He seemd frustratid by me. I reelee did try to undarstand, but I did not. I hate being stupid. I try to not be stupid, but it is hard. I wish I coud undarstand the things othar peepul did. I still have the poshin Sehki gave me in the summar fer my birthday. I have bin saving it up. Mebbe next time I see bjar I will take it, then I will be smart and all the ideas will make senss in my hed. Then he wont hate me. I do not want him to hate me. That idea hurts me on the inside. It makes me feel emptee and sad.
The plass wher the Captin Taleisin cut me up is mostlee heeled now. It still is soft to touch tho. Wen I move funny it pulls also. I have to be carfal. I have to get strong agin. I promissd evaryone I woud be strong. If I git strong anuff, then I can pertekt all of them frum hurting and suffaring. Then I can pertekt myself frum it and Melchior will take me bak becuz then I will not suffar no mor.
Food is still ekspensive. I have not bin abal to save no coins fer the whole darkfall. Evarything I have has bin spent on food and it is still not anuff. I am hungry all the time. My tummy hurts and feels like it is eating me up. The wethur is bettar so I can fish agin. Mebbe I kin make ekstra monies that way. Mebbe I can find sumthing else to eat. Like nuts or taters. I shoud look. My hed is dizzy all the time. I need to eat mor than a bit of bred evaryday. I try to fill my tummy with watar so it don't hurt no mor. At leest bafer I train so I can focus on my eksercizis. Once a week I can buy a bit of meet in gravy, but it duz not fill me up. I can see the bones in my hips and chest. I covar them up tho so othar peepul will not worree abot me.
I need anuthur job. I applied fer one, but I do not no if I will get it. Probablee not.
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