Tzoli's Red Leather Journal

22 - The Beginning of Summer, Camday

Dinner. Bjar invitid me to dinner. He nos how I have bin sik evin tho no one teld him nuthing. If he new I was sik, why dint he come and see me in my room? Mebbe it was him nocking on my door to ramind me to eet.

Five days until the Day of my Birth. Blooday. It is almost here. I do not think I want to see peepul this year. I am an old maid now. 21 summers and still alone. Too old now fer a husbind to want me. I do not have no dowree anaway. And no mum to ask fer permishin frum eethur.

I think it is not so bad to be alone. It hurts sumtimes, but it is not so bad. Eksept wen evaryone else has sumone arond me. That seems like always. All of my frends complain to me abot love problims. I think that hurts to. They do not think abot it. But, it is not bad. I smile reel big and nod my hed, I make my hart smile allso.

I ramembar last yeer Sehki got me a poshin he made himself. I ramembar he got himself blowd up making it. I miss Sehki. Nybrylla and Lycenth got me the rings I wer. I wundar sumtimes why I still wer them evin noing wat she is now. I think becuz wen she gave them to me we was frends. I do not think we are frends no mor. That makes me sad to. I think I wil ramembar the Nybrylla that was my frend insted of the one I had to crush with my hammar. That was a good persin. I think then the onlee thing she wantid was the same thing as me. To be loved.

Mebbe that it still the onlee thing she wants. I dunno. She is wat she is an that meens we can not be frends no mor. I made a promiss to Melchior and to balor. I made a promiss and that promiss is importint to me.

I think fer my birthday I will go away frum evaryone. I do not evin no who my reel frends is no mor.