Tzoli's Red Leather Journal

14th Day of the Beginning of Spring, Yelsday

Things are so hard lately. Everything seems so complacatid and I do not no why. It is veree frustrating to me. It is hard to make all of the things in my hed mak senss. Evaryone wants things dun ther way evin if it may hurt sumone else. I no peepul git hurt all thah time, but I mad a promiss to keep my frends saff. But I also have a deep loyaltee to my kind and that is sumthing that runs deep deep deep down in my blood and in my hart. How can I mak the to work togethir?

Sumtimes I feel like I am the onlee one willing to find the good in peepul. Peepul seem to look fer ekscusis to hate one anathur. "She's to nosee." "He's to arogint." "She smells funee." "He has a wobbly eye." Its dum. Mebbe its cuz all my life peepul have mad exscusis not to lik me that I try so hard to lik othars. I do not no. I am tryin hard to be niss tho. I try hard to bite my tong theez days so i do not hurt peepul's feeling, but I am no good at that. I am honist and i say what is on my mind. It is hard keeping secrits, speshellee the ones I got.

13th Day of the Beginning of Spring, Morday

So manee peepul pratend to help others whin they have thoughts of selfishniss. It makes me angry. They all wonder why they do the things they do whin they do not git any joy frum it. They wonder why they do the things they do whin all it causes them is hurt. Why evin think about things like that? Does it matter if one persin makes you angry? Does it matter if you never git no thanks frum no one? Does it matter if you work hard fer nothing? Why do peepul always want something fer what they do? That aint nuthin but selfishniss. Whin yah do sumthing, you do it cuz you wanna, not cuz you want sumthing frum it.

They think they havah cure fer thah plag. I dunno. They are doing experiments on peepul. I hate the idea of that. I hate it , hate it hate it. I have memerees and feelings of all the experimints dun on me. I kinna evin imagine forcing things ontah others, evin if thah rasult of not doin it is deth. Testing on peepul is just...I dunno. It makes me angry and digs on my memerees of the me that isnt me. I was an experiment to, so was my babees. Nuthin but experimints. I do not think the peepul doing the experimints fer the plag cure could no that or what it is like to be nuthing but a viktim of 'science'.

If it is a cure, I no that the peepul doing the experiments think they are doing good. I just pray that the peepul being testid on think they are doin good alsah.

10th Day of the Beginning of Spring, Blooday

Taday sumone sed I was purty. It was silly opf them to say such a thing. He was a Tyen, I think mebbe he was confused about what purty is, or maybe its because I have dark skin. I dunno. I think diffrint peepul have difrint ideas bout purty. I no I aint purty attall. Leest not to humans like me. Evin Rylian thinks it.

I herd he was in bad shape. I have bin trying to find him, but I think he is trying to keep away frum me. I think I made him angry. I dunno. I herd that his hand is all burnt up. Well, I burnt up both my hands and my arms. I still ramember that hurt real well. I have scars to proov it evin. At leest I got burnt up trying to save sumone. He was just trying to proov hisself to sum Narus or sumthin. I dunno. I do not unnerstand the things with Narusis. First peepul tell me that the bond tween a Narus and a Neophyte is like love and sacrid, then Narusis go and trample on other peepul's Neophytes trying to teech lessins and do things ther own way steadah trustin that sposid "sacrid" bond. It makes me angry. They say I will never unnerstand cuz I am too dum to unnerstand it attall. Seems to me they are the ones who do not unnerstand nuthin. They kinna nevin trust each other and they are sposed to have a bond. Stupid. Stupid stupid STUPID STUPID.

Makes me sooooo angry.

I think sum Narusis are veree selfish. They think that ther way is the only way evin tho ther are manee ways to do things and to beleeve things. If ther was onlee one way to do things, then evaryone woud all be the same cuz it woud be the onlee way to be. Mebbe I am dum cuz I do not see why they get so angry at each other for the diffrint ways of doing things.

Evin Gods have manee diffrint ways of doing things. Balor loves battle, but he also clings tightly to the idea of Fate. Both he and Morhaig rule over death and in a way revenge. Manee battles are for revenge after all. Both Morhaig and Melchior are Gods of magics. Peepul call Morhaig eval and Balor also, but I do not think they are attall. I do not think Gods evin care bout those types of ideas. I think they are way smarter then me and evaryone else so they do not evin need ideas like those. Mebbe I'm wrong tho. Mebbe all the peepul who think Morhaig is Eval are rite, but I think mebbe peepul like that kinna unnerstand the big picture and are selfish insted using her assah excuse to do bad things.

I no whin I do bad things or wikid things it is cuz of me and not cuz of no one else, evin Gods. I may not be smart, but I take rasponsabilaty fer my akshins.

Unknown Day, sometime in the beginning of Spring

I dunno what day it is taday. Mebbe the 7th or the 8th Day of the Beginning of Spring. I lost track. I think I slept. I slept lots and lots and lots. I rekkin I was real tyerd. Latlee I feel like I am running away from evaryone. I saw some Narus thretining Rylian. I am tyerd of the Narusis and Neophytes. Its like no one thinks I can unnerstand what is going on with it. One of them Narusis issah Vek, leest thats what I bin told by the peepul. The one who thretind Rylian was so Rylian told me to go away. I reealize now that I wantid to stay and brek him into lital bits and peesis. But I no I have to wait until I am stronger. I need to get that speshell wepin.

I want to kill them veks. The ones I no about will be the first to go. I no I aint strong anuff yet, but soon I think mebbe I will be. If I git onnah them wepins I was told about, then I will hurt them lots.

I was told I should learn how to use swords. But I am no good with them. Ive tryd and tryd to learn them. I think mebbe I am just to dum or sumthing. I dunno. It is reelee hard for me to lern new things like that. I dunno why. I try real real real real hard.

I met sumone new. His name was Ademion. He is blind just like Niko. I helpd him like I ustah help Niko. I led him all round and ramembered how tah hand him things just like I did fer Niko. It made me feel kinda good. It was niss tah feel helpfal after suchah long time of bein in thah way. I think I always feel more ralaxed with blind peepul, i dun gotta think bout how I look or if I'm smilin or nuthin. It aint like with evaryone else. I always gotta smile and laugh and be happy on the outside as well as the inside so peepul no I aint sad. With Niko and now ademion, I do not gotta do that. Sumtimes its hard tah smile on the outside, but if I feel like smilin with peepul like that I smile, if I do not feel like it, then I dont. Mebbe that duznt make sense.

Rylian said he saw his old love agin. That she was still alive. He said he made her cry fer me. That makes me feel bad. I hate whin peepul cry, speshellee if its my falt. I think she was waiting fer him and he hurt her like he hurt me. I think mebbe he wannid to try to make up the hurt he put on me by doing it. But I dunt think you shoud make up hurt to one persin by hurting anathur. I dunno. I think he loves me, but I dunno. I think like evaryone else he is kinda scared of me. I dunno why peepul is so scared of me. I aint meen or nuthing. I gotta tempur, but I aint meen. I hate peepul cringing frum me or seeing me and walking away.

Sumtimes I walk away now. It makes me feel rude. I hate being rude most of all. I am trying tho. I am trying real hard not to make my frends uncomfertabal.

I am veree lonlee latlee. I wish I wunt lonlee no mor. I saw Sky, but I had to go and train. I hope she comes back, I miss her lots.

6th Day of the Beginning of Spring, Morday

I went on a liltal walk-a-bout. I no I need to cleer my head up. I startid having the derems now and not just the waking memerees. I can bearlee sleep. I forss myself to close my eyes, evarytime I do, I pray that I will not see sumthing that has bin in them. Rylian, Arlena, rows of my brothers and sisters tied down and screeming. I keep thinking the monsters will come back fer me. I keep thinking they will try to kill me in my sleep, sliss me opin and look at my brains and my tummy.

I wuz walking with Jirand lookin fer Rylian and I kinda ramember going to the semataree. I ramember there wuz a place there that gived me a reelee bad feeling. I went back there and I still had that bad feeling. It felt...I dunno...dark I rekkin. Dark and icky. I learnd that I shoud always trust my feelings, so I left.

My tattoos are heald mostly. The spirals look good I think. I want to still find a sacrid prayer and runes to protect my belly tho cuz then if I ever becom not a virgin then my babees will be protektid. I will never never never let one of them Monster Vek peepul take one of my babees ever agin. They took them frum the me that was me but not befor and I dun ever want it to happin agin. I'll sliss off their heads and pull out their harts with my hands.

I need to find Missus Veniss and see if she found out where I kin get a speshell wepin she told me about bafer. I like her, she is niss to me and dunt treet me funnee attall. She sed she will help me and I baleeve her. I hope Taleisin wuz niss to her and dint make her go away and put her alone. That woud make me sad.

I shoud problee talk to Rylian. I think my hed is all cleerd up frum bein angry and hurt. I am gunna go to his place and see him. I hav not had no mor visins about him lat'lee so I think he is keeping his promiss. I no I love him, at leest I think I do. That is problee why he hurt me so much. I do not wanna hate no one. I sed sum mean things to Arlena I think, but they just came out of me. I dint meen to say them. Well, I problee ment it then. In her hed she is a lier, mostlee to herself, it made me angry. She tells me she dint wanna do nuthin, then in her hed she nos she did wanna with lusts and feelins. It made me veree angry, I dunno ekzactlee what I said, but I think it wuz bad. I do that lots, my angry voice slips out of me and I say horabal things to peepul, then I spend days and days feeling bad about it and worreeing.

On my walk-a-bout I lookt fer Sil sum mor. I still coudnt find her. I no she went to the outpost, I lookt and lookt and lookt fer her. I askt evaryone if she wuz there and no one new nuthing. I wish she wuz here I want to talk to her. I also wish Sky wuz around but I cant find her neither. I feel like I ain't got no one to talk to. Mir-a tries, but I think she is angry at me fer running off on her whin I saw Rylian that time.

She is angry with me, so angry that I herd her angriniss frum far away. It makes me feel bad, she is not comferbal with me and I try not to invade nuthin. I hate that she dont feel comferbal round me, i give her all of my trusts, but I dont think she will give them back. I scare her I think. Peepul like me is monsters to other peepul. She evin saw real monsters, she got cut down by them, those veks hurt her and it was my falt. Maybe that is why she is angry with me. Cuz she nos it is all my falt. I sed sorree so many times alreddee, I just want her to be my frend agin. I do not want her scared of me no mor.

I wish Sil or Sky was around, they always made me feel better. Jirand tries to and sumtimes he helps me, but I think his anger at peepul makes it hard fer him to see me sumtimes.

Evin tho I am now a part of evaryone whether they want it or not, I feel more lonlee then ever. I wish Balor woud help me to find my strings agin, I wish he woud help me to find my Fate.

Help help! I'm being repressed!

So, as I am sure those who read this blog have noticed, it hasn't been updated the past few days. There are reasons! I have been helping to redecorate my Mother in Law's house the past few days so it is clean and comfortable for her as she lives out her final days. I am taking care of her and the family during the holidays which have been especially rough for them all.

Like I said, it's bad. I blame the paint fumes.

35th Day of the End of Darkfall, Yelsday

Peepul all think I am stupid. I am tird of peepul thinking I am dum and gullibal. I aint like that reelee. I try veree hard and am frendlee, but I aint gullibal. Leest I dunt think I am. Mebbe I am. I dunno.

Rylian and Arlena... I do not evin no what to rite about it. They was togethur. I saw it all. The others like me did alsa. I dunno why we saw it. It mad me so angry. So angry I coud not evin think no mor. I am stil angry tho I wunt tell them I am. I dunno if I shoud trust him no mor. I dunno anathing.

I learned a new word. To act'lee. Eccentric and Virgin. I din't no that there wuz a word other then maidin fer it, but apparently there is. I am virgin. Sounds funnee to me. I like maidin better. Sumone called me eccentric. I still dunno what it meens tho. I think it meens frendlee and talkitiv, but I dunno.

I am tird of seeing things like that. I dint no I woud have visins like this. Seeing things that happin whin they happin. I dint no I woud hav to see thees things. Its horabal. They say there is no way fer me to hav a quiet life like I want cuz of what I am. That seems unfair cuz I dint ask to be what I am.

Now I want to fite. I no I hav to fite. Lots of niss things git takin away frum you I think whin there is Fate. Thats okay tho, Balor and his Fate strings must have sumthing fer me to do. I will do it, then mebbe I will be abal to hav a niss life and sum babees.

32nd Day of the End of Darkfall, Camday

I got one of my new tattoos dun today. It stings lots. I got a spiral put onto one of my sholdar musals. They put a cloth bandige o'er it sah It woud no git all mussed up as it heals up nice like. It burns on my arm whin I move 'round. Not so much reelee. Just like havin scraped knees mor then anathin.

I will git the other sholdar don tomarow. It will also have a spiral on it. I still need to go an look up mor pray simbals for Balor so I can git them on my tumee. I think I will maybe git a Morhaig spider on me an one of her runes, maybe to match the litning lisart I have for Balor. I dunno how safe this will make me, but it is makin me ramember lots mor bout Balor lik I shoud. That would make my mum hapy I think. I hope she is happy with me. I am trying hard fer her and fer me.

30th Day of the End of Darkfall, Melday

Simbals of the Gods. I was told that thees mite pertect me frum them. I have the prayer my mum wrote on me alreddee. Mebbe she new what I was evin before me and wrote it on me then? I just thot she put it on me to git me better whin I was sick. I dunno. It is veree confuzing to me.

I will go and git mor anaway. I want to put a prayer to Balor over my bellee and on the other side of my back. I wish I new what the first prayer was cuz i have a feeling it wunt one of the three prayers my mum tawt me. I only no the Rising Sun Prayer, the Setting Sun Prayers and the Prayer for Strength and Viktory. My mum new mor prayers and things like that then I do. I think mebbe she tawt me, but I do not ramember attall.

I need to go to the preests and find books so I can find holy sigils for the prayers. I think around my bellee buttin I will put Balor's sun. That is a holy symbol I think. Then around that I will have a prayer put. On my sholdar musals I am gunna put spirals for Melchior. I wish my hands wunt all scarred and puffy, cuz then I coud put holy simbals on them alsah and mebbe it woud hurt them whin I punch them in the face and the guts and stuff.

I am going to pray mor. That was adviss told to me and I am gunna falla it. I dunno any prayers sept those to Balor so I will pray them lots.

29th Day of the End of Darkfall, Sycaday

I think mebbe Darkfall is finlee ending. It is not rainee so much no more and I git to see balor rise more oftin in the morning. That is good. I am doing my stretchis and praktising my kiks and punchis. I am trying veree hard to get stronger and better.

I am not sleeping much. I close my eyes and feel the screems and pain. It hurts me deep down in plasis I did not no I had. It hurts like an old hurt, like a leg I lost or sumthing. I want to be strong. Evary morning I do the exsercisis my mum tawt me. The screems in my hed help me to keep attit.

I wish I coud think of a way to force these things I see of my brothers and sisters into the heds of the peepul who did it. I wish I coud projekt the pain and suffering into their heds and harts and make them feel and unnerstand evarything they did to us. I am trying to learn a way to do that. I want to learn to force my feelings and thots and memerees onto others, that way whin I see one of those monsters, I can make them fall down with all the pain ever givin to my peepul. Pain for Pain, Blood for Blood as my mum woud say.

28th Day of the End of Darkfall, Yelsday

Taday I went bak to the ladees that kept me whin I cam to thah city. They sed they was glad to see me cuz they had sumthin that balongd to me. I dint know I had left nuthin with them, but I rekkin I must have. One of thah ladees, I think her name is Yashee, but I dunt ramember veree well. She went away for a liltal bit and then came back with a pictures I had whin I cam here. I had fergottin all about it. It was a picture of me and my mum don in pensil colers. My mum had it dun whin I was lital, but I dunt ramember pozing fer it attall. But I spose I did. Lookin at the picture I thot mebbe I wasnt so ugly as I thot I was. But mebbe I just was purtyer as a child. My mum was so purty. I miss the appals she smelt like and the way she woud tie scarffs on my hair so it wunt all kinky and frizzy. It made me feel better to have this picture. I will always keep it close now. It will help me to ramember my mum's face I think. It will help me to sleep and have a calm hart and happy hart and strong hart like she woud want.

I had a visin. I dunno if it was a visin. Only crazy peepul think they have those I think. I think mor like it was a memeree. I was the persin in my visin. It was the worstist thing ever. So bad I dun evin know how to write bout it. Mir-a, may the Gods bless her and git her well fast, helped me threw it. She pertectid me frum thah vampyres or nursis or whoever they was. I was veree confused, they wannid to tie me down and I never never never never never want to be tied down ever agin. They wannid to make me sleep. I was scared of them, so veree scared.

In my memeree, they was gunna cut my babee out of me. I was tied down and there was screaming and pain all inside me, but not my pain, pain of others. They cut off the tops of heds and poked at the mushy stuff inside of the heds. I wannid to screem. I wannid to cry, but I was hurting so much I coudnt. It was the worstist thing ever. I thot we was spose to have dreams, not awake memerees. I was told it was supposed to be nightmares and dreems, not like that. I am scared to lose my babees again. I am so scared they will cut me opin and take them away frum me.

I think I have manee scars and most of them I have not evin found yet. I think mebee we are reborn agin and agin until we git thah revenge we want. I think mebbe evin Morhaig thinks thems monsters are wrongfull. I pray to Balor to give me the strength to fite them and make them ded. I pray to him to help me fite this war cuz it is a war I no now. I no I have to fite it. I want to end it. I want to end it and end those horabal monsters and put my memerees to rest.

This picture helps me to sleep. I need to sleep and stay strong. I need to be stronger and git better. Much better. Faster and better. I pray to Morhaig and Balor to make me strong and let me have revenge fer thah babees they took frum me. I will never let them have no mor of my babees if I ever have them.

Title of Picture: Woman with Basket I
By the Artist: Wolfgang Otto

27th Day of the End of Darkfall, Morday

Bad things happind latlee, but I dun wanna writ bout them things. Too much talk of monsters and death latlee. Ittall maks my hart hevee. I am tird of that and I am tird of being giltee about things that happin that I aint got nuthin tah do with.

Taday Rylian gav me a ring. It is niss. It wuz thah veree one I winnid evin! With thah shinee red stone innit. I like red and this one is very niss. It evin fits on my funee fingers. It dunt fall off err nuthin. I wunder how he got it to do that. Must be magics. Magics can do gret things.

I want to get Rylian sumthing also. I wunder what he woud like?

He and I dacidid to try to have a babee. Mebbe it is part out of fear cuz he dus not no how long he will be alive. But I do not no neether. I think Vampyres are after me, reel strong ones. That is part of the bad things I do not wanna writ about. So I wont now.

Mebbe if I do not write about it, I will not think about it. I do not want them to get my friend cuz of me tho.

I want to git stronger. Evin more then now. I am tryin hard to control what I am and make that stronger too. I want to pertect my frends and be a strong warier like my mum and my pa. I want Balor to be happy with me.

23rd Day of the End of Darkfall, Blooday

Today I had a nitemar. It was scree. This is how it went.

I was a liltal girl agin. I was playin out in the wheat fields lik I always did. I had a stick that was my wepin and my trustee sheeld. I was killin thah evil monsters of thah grass. (One of my fav'rit games.) Anaway, I was killin thah grass monsters an my mum called me into the house.

I ran to my mum. She hugd me and kissd and said she got me a presint. She handid me a big box with red paper on it and a ribbin. I opind it and inside was a huge dress of yellow. My mum made me wear the dress.

The dress had like a millin layers of cloth an I was drowning in it. I wore the dress and it made me walk funee and it was veree tite on my chest and the skirt stuck out all flufee like. It was dum.

Then my mum took me out an evaryone laffd at me cuz I was wearin this big girlee dress.

That was my nitemar. I had to wear a dress and evaryone laffd. It was horabal. If I wear a dress I dunt want no one to laff at me cuz I wanna be pretty in it.

The Song of the Sea - Lesson One

**It had been several days since Miss Kita had come by to see me. I near suspected that she was not coming back and I would be left with an unfinished story. But she did come, her smile bright and her gait bouncing.

I found out today that she makes up the tales as she sits down with me to tell them. She said this easily to me when I asked her how she thought up her tales. It angers me that she can pluck stories out of the kha as easily as others pluck magic. She is gifted with a silver tongue and doesn't even realize it. Alas, I suppose that is there is a reason I am but a scribe, and she, the story teller.**

[Part Three- The First Lesson of the Great Womac]

Over the next several days, the Great Womac cared for Jiri. His head had been cracked, giving him spells of dizziness and a great head ache. He learned that he was indeed lucky to have such a pain though, for over those days, he realized two things: Womac was no witch, for a witch would not care for him as she did and he was lucky he didn't fight her for he suspected that she could have put him down with but the snap of her finger. With her, he never had to speak, for she already knew the words in his mind and his feelings of gratitude. She was a good woman despite the fact that most considered her a monster.

"Womac, tell me, can I defeat the real witch? I wish to free the village from the curse and continue on my journey," he said one morning. It was the first morning he had awoken without his head pounding and the room spinning, so he felt a bit unencumbered and enlivened by this.

Womac looked at Jiri, a smirk playing on her lips, "I think the chance you have to beat her, is the same chance you have of swimming across the sea." She laughed and sat down next to the lad, looking into his eyes to see if his head was still cracked. Looking at him, she smiled and placed her hands upon his temples, chanting a few words. She opened her mouth and blew her sweet breath over him. In a moment, Jiri felt enlightened. As he inhaled the smell of spun sugar and spice, he saw the vision of a feather behind his eyes. The feather floated upward, spiraling around him. "I will teach you what is needed for you to know so that you may defeat her." Jiri could not speak, all he could see was this feather floating away from him.

All night he had dreamed of his feather. All night he had flown through the air chasing it. At one point he turned into a bird. At another, he was the feather. At one point, he was the wind holding the feather aloft. And so he dreamed.

The next thing Jiri knew, it was morning and he gently landed to the earth; his dream cradling him gently into the warm couch. "It is time to begin," a voice said softly behind him. He turned and saw Womac, but there was something different about her, he just couldn't put his finger on it. "Come, we will go for a walk by the sea."

And so, the pair left the house for the first time in several days. They walked along the shallow cliff side that overlooked the sea. For most of the day Womac said nothing as the pair walked. Jiri did most of the talking. He talked of his brother, his family, his home. He talked of his hopes for the future, his desire to run the family farm. All in all, he talked of nothing. As the sun began to set out on the horizon of the sea, Jiri found he had nothing more to talk about and fell silent. He stopped walking and looked out over the water. Womac stopped beside him and looked out over the water. She spoke finally, "In the face of such beautiful and vast things, all people lose words, both in their mouths and in their minds. The first lesson you must learn is to lose those words. Remember this feeling so that you can always be a clean slate should the need arise."

Jiri knitted his clean brow, thinking on this for a moment as he looked down the cliff's edge. As if on cue, a bird flew out from the cliff and off over the sea, a feather molting from its tail and floating up on a breeze, then down into the water. Jiri watched the feather for a moment and felt, for a moment, peace. The feeling was all consuming, though, it did not feel like it was his own and he immediately fell into confusion, a confusion that pushed the feeling of peace aside.

Womac nodded to him, "That is all for today. We will continue to the next lesson tomorrow." She led him back to the hill that acted as her house. Once again, Jiri found words to put into his mouth and began to talk, though he could still feel the sting of the peace and silence that had drifted over his heart.

"Why does it sting so now?" he queried her later that evening after they had taken their supper of fish and roots.

"Silence is a hard thing attain when you have so many other emotions weighing down on your heart. I suppose you brother lived with this sting his entire life if what you tell me is true. We seek to fill ourselves rather than empty ourselves. If we are full, then emptying ourselves later leaves a hole inside of us. A hole that stings because we want to fill it back up." As she parted her perfect lips, a small breath escaped, "They say those who are empty and full of silence can attain great wisdom. They also say they are called to the Lady of the Sea so she can fill them up with her song as she once filled all the people of this land."

With a wave of her hand Womac dismissed the matter, "For now, you should sleep, tomorrow will be much more trying that today was. Tomorrow we will pluck the red strings that bind everything together trying to play the melody of magic as it rings through the kha."

22nd Day of the End of Darkfall, Sycaday

Today Lord Aserbe Acerbe talkt to me. It was surprizin to me that he woud want to evin sit at thah sam table as me. He hassah fear of dazeez and dirtee things. He wipes seets an bars an never touchis no one. I no I aint dirtee and I dun have a dazeez, but I no he hates peepul cuz he is scared of gittin sik. That is fine, I unnerstand compleetlee. I suppose I am kinda lukee tah be able tah tell who is sick with plag cuz of thah crazy voisis in ther heds. I spose not all parts of this thing I am is bad. He askt about Jirand lots, but I dint have no answers for him. At least not the answers he wantid cuz he never askt the questions he wannid. Why do peepul do that?

Sumtimes it is veree hard not to say nuthing to peepul about the things they ask me in their heds. It maks me feel like I am a lier. I hate bein a lier, it like hurts my insides whin I tell lies or evin just dunt tell the truths. But, so manee peepul never say what they wanna anaway. I always answer what they ask as honist as I can. I never want a week hart.

I told Angel I woud help him get strong. I dunno why I sed that. He is crazy, like he has manee voisis in his hed. Probalee the plag. I have to be careful. I never want voisis like that in my hed attall. Yuk.

21st Day of the End of Darkfall, Yelsday

I went on a walk. I saw Rylian and we talkt bout sum things and after I went on a walk to think. I walkt and walkt and walkt. He sed that he woud give me a babee. It made me happy, but nerviss. I saw a ded ladee who was with child and I no Sky is veree nerviss bout babees. I dunt say nuthin bout it to her tho, frum the things in her hed, I no better then to say things. But yestaday I did. She was hurting veree much and I new if she dint say nuthing she woud git mushed by the wate of it. She always blams herself fer evarything even tho it aint her sin fer it.

I want to have babees, but I also want my babees to have a pa. I dint have a pa and I no my mum had to work dubal hard fer me. I dunt mind workin extra hard, but I always wannid a dadee so if I have babees, I want them to have a dadee. Rylian is scard peepul will kill him. He has good reesin to be scard, I no he duz. I am confuzed I gess. I was told that you have to be mareed to have babees, but I am not mareed. I love him, I think I do. I want to be with him, that I no fer shur. My mum always sed part of my pa livd in me even tho he was ded. If Rylian gits killd, then if we have a babee, part of him will live also. I think that is what he wants.

I will not let anaone take him away frum me. Even my own kind and espeshially not them nastee, meen vampyres who want me ded and my frends ded. I think I no why vampyres hate us, they hate us cuz we can figger out who they are. They hate us cuz we no the secrits they hide deep inside. I dunt wanna hurt no one. I dunt wanna make anaone sad. Nun attall. But, if Rylian givs me a babee, I will not let no one hurt him evin if I have to beat them to death with my own hands. I dun that bafer, I will do it agin if peepul make me angry. The red darkniss inside me tells me that.

19th Day of the End of Darkfall, Camday

I got that mace I bin wanting so I dunt have to bar-o one no mor. It is a niss mace I think. I likt my spear better tho. I miss my spear. I am angry cuz no one woud teech me to use it. They all sed I was too dum. How hard kin it be to poke sumone with a long stik? I meen a spear is like a long stick with a metal pokee bit on it. It cant be that hard can it?

Oh well. I am havin fun with the mace. My teecher is niss. He is pleesd with the one I got. He sed mebbe one day we coud both git sumone to make us reel niss ones. We praktissd together. The real mace is diffrint frum the one I was using. Hevyer.

I hav bin veree fergitfull latlee. Even mor then normle. Ah well. I am trying to keep my memree good tho by riting things down.

Mebbe I am having that stress evaryone else has. I am on eg ej veree nerviss latlee. I feel like sumone is falowing me. I heer them, but then I find out that persin was far away. I am changing again. I dunno if I'm gitting stronger tho, or if I am just finlee unnerstanding how this part of me works. Peepul are all plotting to kill my kind of peepul. I heer them, I dunno if I am one of the ones they want ded or not tho. Mebbe it is just chanss that the peepul othars want ded happin to be lik me. It is scarey.

I wish I coud unnerstand what is going on. No one tells me nuthin. They all just think I no things. I am veree confuzd. I hav this horabal feelin bilding inside me. Sumthing is gunna happin. Sumthin big.

18th Day of the End of Darkfall, Melday

I hear them all frum far away now. Almost on the other side of the city. I herd Mir-a when I was in thah Theater an she was in the Satyr. If I sit real quiet and listin I can heer more. It seems to get stronger when I juggal. I hate this.

I dunno what to do. I coud hardly unnerstand bafer, now it is worse. There is talk of Vampyres and revenge and killing and all sorts of things I dunt unnerstand. Peepul are scared and goin crazy. In my hart, I wish it was me going crazy, but I know its not cuz I can still tell who is not crazy.

The world is changing, jus like I am changing. I wish it was the world that was getting stronger and not me tho.

A blank page between entries

I am getting stronger....

16th day of the End of Darkfall, Blooday

I have bin thinkin lots latlee. I no that I problee am wishin fer to much, but I think I am happy. Is it selfish to want more things? I dunno. Sil is gon and I dunno were she went. I lookt and lookt. I found lots of plag and lots of sadniss and lots of crazeeniss. They all seemd the sam to me whin screemin in my hed.

Plag and crazeeniss is evarywhere. Its horabal heerin the crazeeniss in my hed. I dunno what I can do fer thah peepul tho. I want to do sumthin. I heer the insanitees, its like ghosts. I dunt think evin thah others no what they are heerin, but I do. I no like I no that my mum is ded and I no thah diff'rince batween thah voicis in mah hed. It is instinct.

I stay away frum the plag peepul. Its like they have demmins inside of them. Demmins evin worser then my angry thing. They fight with themselvs on the inside, the demmins screemin loud and angry and their real self pushed way far back. It is like the demmin trys to take them over. Sumone told me that the last part of the plag maks you a demmin. I dunno, I think mebbe the plag releesis all the evil and anger and hate we alredde got inside ourselvs. I think mebbe demmins are peepul. Peepul changd by sumthin that made ther hate come onto the outside.

Rylian thinks Morhaig did it, but I dunt think it was her. I think it was sumthing more secrit. Morhaig rules over thah ded, but I think these things is livin bits of hate and anger. It is not her style to get raveng that way. I think mebbe thah plag startid whin peepul got in to close to the sorss of the demmins. I think they got touched by sumthing, sumthing that makes the inside of them pull out thah part of them that is demonik.

15th Day of the End of Darkfall, Sycaday

Latlee I have bin vere busy. I hav bin spending lots of time with Rylian. He makes me vere happy. I wish I coud spend all of my time with him, but he has importint things to do. I decidid to surpriz him with a presint. I am savin up fer it. I saw sumthing he woud like lots I think. It is a ring with a shiny black stone in it.

I have to save up lots fer it. I coud use the coins I put in the bank, but I woud lik to save thos fer a 'rainee day' as my mum ustah call them. The ring I saw costs 310 coins. That is lots. I'm not verrah good at maths, but I think that means I need to catch like a hundrid fishis. Thats lots of fishis.

I am tryin to lern new things. They are shamful things tho. They make me blush, but I shoud lern if I want babees. At leest that is what Iv figgerd out so far.

LOG: Tzoli tells the Tale of the Accidental Jester

**Just for the record, I have cleaned this up and removed some things from it that I didn't think everyone would want to see.**

To the very back of this room lies a large, wooden stage that rises about a foot
higher than the rest of the room. On each corner of this stage are four large
torches that help light the area. There are various cushioned sofas, wooden
chairs, and stools sitting around the stage. In one corner to the back sit a
number of large, cushioned pillows on the ground. In another corner of the
room can be several large tables set up for gambling. At one table can dice
can be seen while at another seems to be set up for cards, the final seems to
have rune games going on. The room has a few more candles and torches providing light but still remains somehow darker.

A tall, exotic-looking human with almond-shaped eyes is standing here.
A man of average height sits at a table near the stage.
A lithe man sit on the couch watching the stage near a lissom Tir woman.
A ragged man with graying hair is standing here.
Mirae, a well-tanned woman sits at a table in front of the stage, writing.
A youthful female Seari with short russet curls is standing here.

Tzoli grins brightly and nods a few times, bouncing happily over to the stage. She hops a few times then bends at the knee, bounding atop it playfully. She crouches for a moment, then stands to her full height, standing now well above the room, looking down. Perhaps the play of light makes her look taller as she bows to a tall, exotic-looking human from her place on the stage, followed by a nod and a smile to Mirae. She holds her hands behind her back, hiding something from sight. She looks around the room and raises her voice, letting it ring clearly through the air, her accent slightly dampened by her attempt to sound clear to everyone. "I'd like tah tell yah all of thah story of Thah Accidental Jester. It ain't quite so heartwarming as Mirae's story was," she pauses and winks to Mirae, a smirk playing on her lips, "An it ain't really a tale of glory and battle and love like we could've heard. But, I'd like tah think it'll entertain yah as that's thah purpose of more stories."

A lithe man glances slowly about the room his eyes lingering on no one in particular before he moves towards the stairs his boots tapping softly on the wooden floor as he moves along. His long black coat hangs about him, covering the sheath that he wears at his side. He reaches the stairs and disappears up them.

Mirae nods back at Tzoli encouragingly, dipping her quill with ink and poised to take down the tale. She frowns slightly at the page for whatever reason, then shrugs to herself and is prepared once again to start taking down the story. Her left hand absently smooths out the pages, despite their lack of wrinkles. Her foot taps the ground, unheard over the ambient room noises.

As the lithe man climbs the stairs, a man of average height gives a youthful female Seari's head a soft pat, stooping down to press his lips first to the crown of her head, then sliding them to the side to murmur into her ear. "I'll not be long." That said, he shifts the chair back, and with no further word, or pause, climbs to his feet and makes his way toward the stairs.

Tzoli grins, letting her clear voice ring out over the hall, "Now, ifn yah got an objection tah this tale, well, that's just too bad, cuz I already made up my mind and ya'll know how thah mind of a moron is set in stone once they git sumthin in their head." She laughs lightly and continues, peering about the hall for another moment a smile on her face. "So, without further ado," she looks around with a smirk on her face and in her eyes, "This is where yer spostah clap err jeer fer my choice in tale," she winks at the audience encouraging them with a wave of her right hand, moving it from behind her back for a moment and leaning forward slightly, "Thah Tale of thah Accidental Jester."

A youthful female Seari nods, her arm coming to rest upon the seat a man of average height had just vacated, her attention once again upon the stage and Tzoli.

A ragged man shuffles a bit in his seat, once again trying to find a comfortalbe spot, and once again failing.

A man of average height leaves up.

A well-tanned woman sits down.

Grins. "Relik, you can move, you know." He pauses, and raises an eyebrow, looking a bit confused as Tzoli announces the title of her tale. "Isn't that... No, it can't be." a tall, exotic-looking human offers a light clap, before folding his arms once more, comfortably settling back.

A ragged man grunts noncommitaly, shifting once again. He gives up with a sigh, deciding to stand next to the couch.

A ragged man clambers to his feet.

Tzoli chuckles lightly and looks around the room, "When I was just a lad," she looks to the audience again, "Fer thah sake ah argament pretend I'm a man, I know it aint a real leap with how I look an all, but pretend for a moment that I ain't me, but rather a rather suave lookin man with beautaful brown locks and great brown eyes and a face that could stir thah hearts of even the oldest crone." She frown a moment, "Yah'll do have that much imagination right? I know its a leap to thah good lookin part." She grins again and looks out over the audience, trying to catch as many of them in the eyes as possible before continuing.

Mirae chuckles, lifting her quill so as not to splatter the page with her involuntary movements. Mirae smiles up at Tzoli as her gaze passes over her, then stares back at the page, paused, hesitant, before she finds some resolve and starts writing, quickly but smoothly, trying to catch up after losing so much time.

Winking at the people whose eye she manages to catch, Tzoli continues, "Anyway, as I was saying. When I wuz just a lad. I had a ho,ho,ho,hhorable st,st,stut.t.t.t.er." She smirks, her face taking on a slight twitch as she mimics the stammer. "I had th,th,this st,st,sssstutter and a horrable t,t,tick in my eye, right here." She says twitching, her eyelid stuttering with her voice as she raises a finger to point at it. "As yah kin imagine, this cause my mum great pain, to have such a boy as a son. I mean, Sure I wuz good looking, but, who would want to marry someone with such a st,st,st,st,stammer and such a strange condition." She mimics the strange stammer and the facial tick again.

Mirae purses her lips, pausing at some point in her dictation, but quickly sets her quill back to the page, making up her mind. As a few chuckles reach her ear, Mirae looks up to catch some of the twitching. This causes her to smile, and then she ducks her head, resuming her task dilligently, her foot tapping absently as she does so.

"Who wouldn't?" a tall, exotic-looking human calls out, eliciting a few laughs from a few people near him. He gazes intently at Tzoli, looking expectantly.

Tzoli leans forward, "Ya'll will never imagine what my mum did to cure me of this. Never, well, probably you would, I'm sure most mum's did this fer their idiot sons." She pauses, pulling out a small cloth ball from behind her back, holding it between her first and middle finger. She folds her hand, revealing a second ball, holding it between her middle and ring finger. She bends her fingers once more and reveals a third ball, this last one resting between her pinkie and her ring finger. "Well, my mum took me to thah witch. She was a haggish creature who scared the very dikkins outtah me like yah wouldn't balieve, yah know, we idiot sons are scared of just about everything and a witch, well, thats just the worst. She was ugly, her hair was slimey and gross, her teeth... ahh," she shudders exageratedly, "Don't even get me started about anything in her mouth, its just too foul tah think about."

A tall, exotic-looking human makes his way towards Mirae, and leans over to whisper in her ear.

A tall, exotic-looking human whispers something to a well-tanned woman.

Mirae nods thoughtfully at a tall, exotic-looking human. "Yes, thank you. There's a tray by the door upstairs with a few tankards already prepared, all paid for. I think there might be a few left." she says to him quietly, her hand writing as she speaks, although she pauses now and then, as she struggles to split her attention. Mirae smiles at a tall, exotic-looking human and nods him on.

Tzoli straightens herself out and makes the balls once again dissapear into her large hand. "This witch was probably thah veree worst thing I could've ever seen and me with my c,c,condition," she twitches again, "It was pobably the most horrifying experience of my life." She nods, tossing one of the balls over her back and catching it blind in her right hand, two more of the cloth balls fly over from behind her and she catches them both, scarcely moving her hand to do so. Once again, she holds her hands behind her back, making the balls dissapear again. "Well, this woman reached out with these long fingers that were like...well, they were horrable. Picture, if yah will, a woman who has bin put intah a tomb fer three months after her death and thah skin has rotted back just a bit. If yah kin picture that, then yah have an inkling of how horrable it wuz fer this hag tah touch me." She looks out over the crowd. "Thah hag reached out tah me and poked me three times hard on thah chest." She leans back three time abruptly, as if she has been pushed three times by an unseen force. "She looked at me with her yellow eyes and told me exactly what I needed to do."

A youthful female Seari stretches one of her legs out, the muscles clicking with disuse and as a result of sitting on the ground. She gradually presses her hand into the ground and with a little effort, pushes herself up and into the seat which she had been resting against.

A well-tanned woman whispers something to a tall, exotic-looking human.

A ragged man shifts his weight, lifting his right leg slightly and kicking idly at the ground near his foot to work out a kink.

A tall, exotic-looking human leaves up.

A tall, exotic-looking human arrives from above.

A solemn-looking youth arrives from above.

"Now thah hag got up real close to me an a smell, akin tah what I dascribed about thah tomb woman, well, a smell akin tah thah wafted up frum her mouth as she spoke. I thought my face would melt off ifn she said one more word tah me," Tzoli shudders with mock fear, "Amazinly, my face din't melt. Who knows tah which God I owe that miracle. But she said tah me in this voice so cruel and wicked and absolutely drop dread gorgeous it almost made you forget for a moment that you were talking to this hideous thing." She chuckles, "It wuzzah very brief moment mind yah, but it was a moment none tha less."

A solemn-looking youth groans quietly as blood begins to pour of his nose again. "Where is..." he mutters, his body hunched over as he clutches his stomach with one arm, while the other hangs limply at his side.

A solemn-looking youth leaves up.

Walking in, precariously balancing not one, not two, but three trays of ale mugs, a tall, exotic-looking human seems to be wavering a bit. Understatement. Anyhow, as he puts one tray down on a table, he nearly slips, but miraculously saves the tray with impressive reflexes. Leaving it on the table, a tall, exotic-looking human languidly nods at Mirae and then makes his way back towards a ragged man. "Relik, take a seat in the recliner next to the sofa." At which point, he drops onto the sofa he was previously reclining on, shifting slightly to make himself more comfortable.

A ragged man grunts again, sitting down on the previously mentioned recliner, albeit stiffly.

A ragged man sits down.

A tall, exotic-looking human sits down and rests.

A tall, exotic-looking human whispers something to a ragged man.

A youthful female Seari draws her cloak over her lap, tucking it in place with care whilst her tapered ears follow the words of Tzoli with care. Her lips quirking up to show hints of amusement at various points during the tale.

A ragged man whispers something to a tall, exotic-looking human.

With horror, Mirae snatched her journal away, only to find her fears unrealized. With a sigh of releif, she puts the journal back down, smiles at a tall, exotic-looking human before he departs, and quickly scribbles down another sentence or two. Standing, but hunched over, she grabs one of the tankards and walks it over to a youthful female Seari, placing it on the table nearest her.

Tzoli smirks lightly, "Now round abouts thah time I thought my head wuz gonna explode frum thah dischord of thah sound and thah look, I got my answer." She looks to a youthful female Seari, then to each of the other people in the hall in turn. "This voice that was so blindingly beautiful that it would have made Ylessa jealous with rage filled my head and said, 'To cure your stammer all you must do is kiss me.'" Once again, a mock shudder pases through the lanky woman's bony body, perhaps exagerated by its size and weight. "As yah kin imagine, there wuz absolutely NO way I wuz gunna do that. Sah I got down on my knees and begged, begged for another way." She pulls her hand out from behind her back holding the three balls betwen the fingers of her left hand. She waves her right hand over it, one ball dissapearing, then another, then the last as if they have simple vanished.

"I think thah witch took pity on me, yah know, bein an idiot and all, most people take pity on me. Specially cuz I'm suchah suave and good lookin idiot. Sah, thah witch gave me another choice, she said, 'Be my jester. Entertain me evaryday for five years an I'll cure yah.'" Tzoli pauses again, running one of her long fingers over her lips, "Just batween ya'll and me and thah walls and thah sky...well, just batween allah us. I think that propasition wuz near bouts as frightening, but it meant that my mouth dint haftah touch that grusome thing that smelled of rot and all sorts of other nasty things I don't even wanna bring tah yer mind."

Tzoli looks around the hall, "Now yah'll know that all jesters have to have a certain set ah skills. They gotta juggle..." She pulls out the cloth balls again, seemingly from no where and tosses them up into the air, juggling them easily, keeping her eyes on the audience. She tosses one ball over her back, catches it and throws it back over to her front, keeping the rest of the balls in the air with one hand. "They gotta do acrobatics..." She lifts one foot high into the air, juggling around the leg. She tosses all the ball high into the air, nearing the ceiling as she jumps into the air and does a full turn in the air, landing on her feet again and catching the balls. Her tall form seems natural doing this. She bows slightly and continues, "And of course, Jesters have to know how to tumble, sing and tell stories."

A tall, exotic-looking human claps tremendously at this show of agility. He obviously hasn't seen someone so tall perform such a thing. Or in fact, anyone so tall, period, considering the expression on his face. "Bravo, Mes Tzoli!"

Mirae straightens up to see the stunts, beaming widely as she hurries back to her chair. She writes furiously for a few moments, trying to catch up on the last couple paragraphs she'd missed while she had been at the seari's side. Eventually, she has caught up, and putting her quill down for a moment, shakes her hand to rest it before taking the quill back up again.

Tzoli tosses the balls once more into the air and shows a feat of tumbling, mockingly grabbing her own shirt and 'pulling' herself forward onto the ground into a summersault, where she lands near the edge of the stage with a loud 'THUMP!', legs out in front of her and on her bum and looks up, just in time to catch the balls as they fall from the air into her hands. "Now, with my condition and my horable stammerin, I wunt gunna be able to sing or tell very good stories. Now, if you put this together with the fact that I an my father an his father bafer him were totally tone deaf, I din't have a long shot in ever being able to sing." She smirks and looks to the audience with a wink. "Luckily fer me, thah witch only seemed to like it whin I fell over myself and made a blastid fool of myself."

Jumping to her feet in one slick movement, Tzoli tosses the balls into the air again, this time plucking another out of her belt pouch while juggling the other three. She tosses the new cloth ball into the air, this one strickingly yellow against the others which are blue. "So, I learned all thah things ah Jester is 'sposetah do. I learned tah stand on my hands..." She leans forward, her tall form looking absurd as it bends in half and half hops, half bounces into the air as she stands on her hands, catching the yellow ball on the sole of her foot. The other balls fall to the ground. "Fer sum reesin I couldn't manage to juggle and stand on my hands, though the witch often bade me to try. As yah kin imagine, this landed me with several head injuries."

"Vereh, vereh impressive." a tall, exotic-looking human claps yet again, while imitating the accent of Tzoli; not in jest, but quite seriously. "Though I hope the boy recovered from his head injuries." A slight grin.

Mirae laughs softly, looking up now and again to catch Tzoli's show, but most of her attention is on forming the words into text. A faint smudge starts to spread across her thumb as her hurried movements bring her in contact with the ink. She draws forth a cloth and wipes her fingers hastily before turning back to her dictation, cursing softly at falling behind.

A man of average height arrives from above.

Slowly, taking his time to compose his expression, a man of average height descends the stairs and returns to the entertainment hall. His eyes move first to the table he had earlier left, and to a youthful female Seari and only after finding her does he chance to look around the room itself as he makes his way toward her.

Ever so slowly, carefully, this seeming even to be difficult for her, Tzoli raises one hand from the ground, balancing her entire body upon her large, scarred, left one. Her bony form is splayed out in strange directions to keep her balance, the yellow ball still balanced on her foot, though her other leg sticks out in the other direction. She looks up and winks at the audience, picking up one of the other balls and tossing it into the air and tumbling down once again into a quick, 'small' summersault. She mockingly rubs her head as a loud 'THUD!' is heard, the two balls hitting her head one after the other in turn. "Well, it wunt an all together horable time in my life, nor was it an altogether pleasant time. But, I wuz learnin something. This always fills yah with a sense of pride, no matter how foolish thah things yah learn are."

Tzoli scoops up all the balls around her in a swift movement, making them dissapear into her large hands. She leans back and rocks, jumping to her feet and leaning forward, pulling herself into a standing position. "Now, tah be perfectly honest with yah, thah witch wunt as horable as I made her sound. At least, after spending four years with her, perhaps her looks startid tah grow on me. She wuz kinda cruel and always tended tah laugh when I got hurt more then whin I told a joke or did sum great acrobatics. But, she wunt a bad person. She really did help me. I hardly stuttered any more and my tick seemed to have melted away with time." She shrugs exageratedly. She sighs heavily, "Now, I hadn't realized how much I learned til one day thah hag took me to town. It wuz thah time of thah festival and there was always contests for tumblers and jesters and such things."

Mirae catches up easily while Tzoli is going through her stunts, although she didn't catch onto more of it than a thump. She comes to the end just in time to start taking on the next slew of words. With an audible snap, her quill breaks. She fishes another, ready-careved, out of her sleeve, and dips it, resuming as quickly as she can manage without blotching the paper.

Tzoli places her right hand palm up out in front of her and from behind her back, tosses three balls, all blue, each one landing in turn on her upturned, unmoving palm. She winks at the audience and continues, "Now, Jesters traveled frum all around thah country ah Yarsin tah compete and try to vie the eye of the Lords and Dukes and Princes and such things, for workin fer onnah them wuz like thah best spot yah could have."

Rylian steps lightly down the stairs, soundlessly. He moves about the small crowd and takes a seat as unobtrusively as he is able, eyes alighting on Tzoli as she performs.

Reaching the table at which a youthful female Seari sits, a man of average height draws a chair about and lowers himself that he is sat beside her, his back facing the wall behind him, and allowing him to view both the stage and the exit at once.

Tzoli looks up into the air and another ball shoot out from behind her back, this one bright yellow. She grimmaces slightly, her aim slightly off and she has to take a small step back, catching the ball in the crook of her nose. "Now, there was one spot every jester wanted and even as a child I knew this. There was the daughter of one of the Lords, Jessalyn." She tosses her head forward, jumping and doing a flip, head over heels, her left hand shooting out to catch the yellow ball in her free hand as she lands on her feet. "Even I, being the suave an good looking young man I was, yearned to work for this woman, for her beauty was reknown." She tosses all four balls into the air and begins to juggle them, "Of course, I had one more year with thah Hag, which caused me lotsah pain. But still, I entered all thah contests, trying to catch her eyes with my best tricks."

Mirae smiles thoughtfully, her head bent over her dictation. She blots the page carefully with a blue-stained rag, and turns it, propping the half-dry page up with the rag at its corner so it won't rest on another page until it's ready. She takes a moment to sip her drink before writing furiously to catch up for that moment's delay.

Tzoli lifts her legs into the air, jumping while she juggles, doing a mid-air splits, then landing. "I juggled fer her, I danced.." she spins around on one toe, juggling the balls around in a sphere, this time her eyes intent on them rather than the audience. "I even acted the part of thah fool as that is whatah jester is tah begin with and fell, playing my best gags ah humiliation." With this, she lets her feet slip out from under her and lands with a mighty 'BANG' on her bum, tilting her head with an over exaggerated grimmace. "Fer thah first time in my whole life assah Jester, I got applause. Applause from Lords and Ladies and Dukes and Barons and even, I think, a king."

A slender, pale-skinned youth sits down and rests.

Tzoli winces as the four balls land in turn on her head in a cartoonish fashion. "I aint never felt sah good bout mahself, daspite my sore bum an head an ego." She gets to her feet slowly, rubbing comically at her bottom and scooping up the balls in her hand. "But, I wunt thah good lookin man tah catch Lady Jessalyn's eye." She winces a bit, bringing her hands dramtically to her chest, feigning heartache. "But! But! I say, I did catch thah eye of a veree influential Duke. Unfortunately, whin he tried to contract my services I st,st,st,stammered so badly, I thought I had lost my tongue. My face became a sea of tick and twitches." She acts this out, her face contorting. "I was beginning to think I was cursed. CURSED by the very hag who wanted me as her jester."

Tzoli shrugs loosely, her fake facial ticks calming down to a conclusion. "But, thah hag was actually a good woman. Ugly as all sin, but a good woman. Maybe a little selfish, but good." She pauses a moment and shrugs, "Okay, an she smelled bad, an she had a temper annah cruel sense of humor, but aside frum all that, she wuzzah good woman."

Tzoli bobs her head up and down, "So, thah Duke went tah thah hag who purty much owned me an all my tricks and they struck a deal. She said to him in that creepy beautiful voice of hers, 'If my jester can juggle while standing on his hands, you can have him.'" Once again, she acts broken, her shoulders crumbling and her long lanky form sagging to the ground. "Now, you and I know this wuzzah horable raquest. Not only fer thah softniss in my head that I had daveloped tryin, but also because this meant I would be with this horrable hag beast for a whole more year."

Mirae chuckles softly, her eyes following her handwriting. She lifts her head to pause and think over a phrase, although she does not really look at Tzoli when she does this. most of the gestures are lost to her. She has to stop and shake out her hand a couple times, taking those moments to fan the page with her other hand before continuing.

Rylian chuckles lightly, a grin forming on his face. He glances about at those others in the room, specifically lingering on a man of average height. The grin fades and his brows knit together in thoughtfulness. A deep breath is taken and then released, his mouth working side to side. he looks away to stare at his table, still bearing the thoughtful expression.

Tzoli suddenly stands up straight, pounding her hand on her puffed up chest, beating it proudly, "Luckily, years ah humilation an pain had given me no pride attall so I wuz willin to try anathin. So I gathered up all my balls and once again got onto my hands." At this point she leans over once again and flips hereslf upside down, standing on her hands, the four juggling balls now visible in her hand as it rests on the floor. "I tried, fer thah life ah me I tried. I lifted up my hand..." She does this, holding out the balls in her right hand, balancing herself on her left, her legs splaying outward slightly to balance her body in this odd position. "I threw up the first ball..." She pauses dramaticaly, tossing one ball high into the air. "And promptly fell ontah my head.." She tumbles, a loud 'THUD' being heard as she summersaults onto her bottom, the ball tossed up into the air landing on her head.

Tzoli grins a bit, winking at a few people. "Thus, that is how I stayed my full five years with the horrabal hag with thah rotten breath and cured my stutter and my tick. So, as yah kin gather, there is a moral to this story. Two in fact. One: When a hag beast tells yah that yah have to either kiss her or be her jester for five years, FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS! Just kiss her, it'll save yerself a whole lottah pain in yer head. An, fer thah cure yer gunna haftah kiss her in thah end anaway. And TWO! You cannot juggle while standing on your hands."

Mirae stops to look up for this, her hand moving to write a few crooked words as she looks. Then she tilts her head, trying to see both at once. Finally, she looks back down and there's a flurry of activity as she tries to catch up. A few streaks mar her page where she had been less careful.

A ragged man smiles slightly, barely keeping a laugh in behind his hand at the second moral.

Tzoli rocks back and jumps up onto her feet, leaning forward in an sloppy, childish bow. "Thus Ends thah Story of thah Accidental Jester." She grins at the audience, "This is where you applaud and laugh an evarythin..."

"Bravo!" a tall, exotic-looking human grins, smiling up at Tzoli, giving his full applause. "Well spoken."

A ragged man claps slowly, the smile lingering and growing slightly wider.

Tzoli jumps off the stage, tucking the four juggling balls into her belt pouch. She walks up to Rylian and attempts to lift him up into the air in a bear hug. She grins brightly and plops down into a seat, tiredly. "Tellin thah story always makes me tired."

Mirae laughs, shaking her hand out lieu of clapping, which she does once her hand is in good order. "Wonderful! Eloquent, well illustrated and..." Mirae grins, "Long, It's just what we needed." Her left hand masssages her right. Mirae watches Tzoli leap off the stage with some bit of admiration.

Rylian looks up from his contemplation of the table and puts his hands together loudly. He casts Tzoli a broad grin. "Oof. Hi Tzoli. Well done."

Tzoli beams over to Rylian, a sheepish look on her face as she lays her head down on the table for a moment. A thin layer of perspiration can be seen on the dark skin of her forhead as she closes her eyes for a moment, regaining her breath.

The Song of the Sea - Continued

**Miss Kita came back as she said she would the next morning. She seemed tired, as if she had not slept but a few winks. I did not question it, for she seemed quite excited and happy as we exchanged greetings.

With permission of Miss Kita, who always insists I simple call her Tzoli, I have started to give titles to each part of her story after careful thought on the matter. From the shape of things, it seems that this story may be more of a long epic that the woman may realize.**

[Part Two - The Village of Cantir and the Great Womac]

I don't rightly know how many steps he too as he traveled to the Village of Cantir, which was the closest port city at the time. I don't know if the Village is still there or not, but, most likely it is gone along with most everything else these days, so, I suppose the name of the village was not of great importance, but one of those things that you just may wish to know.

Jiri arrived in the Port Town several weeks after he left his home. He spent the night on the side of the road, watching the stars when he could not sleep. He dreamed fitfully, the Lady of the Sea torturing him in each of his dreams. Every night he drowned in her deep waters and every morning he awoke, gasping for breath and tasting salt in his mouth.

As Jiri approached the village, the smell of the sea hit his face and all at once he knew love again. The salty brine wafted through the streets giving things a freshness that you can only find in cities near the sea. "Not the same air of the farms and the fields back home," thought Jiri are he approached the first building, the road turning to gentle grey and white cobbles. He saw people in the streets and even they seemed to have a different smell and feel of the people he had once known.

He strode through the streets, confident of everything. The idea of doubt had not even crossed his mind or his heart. Perhaps, it was because of this, he did not notice the people's stares and the fear and concern dancing through the air around them. He did not notice their sheep-like auras through his own mask of confidence and pride. He strode right up to the port only to find that not a single soul was there. Not a whisper could be heard, not the smell of one fish, not one man, woman or child stood on the harbor waiting for boats and in fact, not a single boat could be seen.

A puzzled frown wafted onto Jiri's face. He scanned the port for someone, anyone, and was left wanting. "How odd, is it not merchant season?" he mused to himself. He shook his head and walked back to the main square of the town, searching for someone who perhaps had answers.

Much to his surprise and his concern, Jiri found few people willing to talk to him, let alone tell him what was going on. This caused him much consternation, but it put his feelings aside, for he had more important things to do. Yet, it perplexed him greatly being unable to find a single ship upon which he could find passage or, any ship at all.

He decided that he would try again in the morning and booked a room at a tavern and inn called The Iron Leaf. It seem a nice enough place, clean, quiet. If anything, it was far too quiet for an tavern, even the din of people talking seemed to get absorbed into the air itself. It was stifling the way words seemed to evaporate into the air.

A woman, more of a hag really quietly sat down at the table Jiri had placed himself at sipping a quiet glass of ale. She smiled, her rotten teeth seeming to cut through the silence all on their own, the ones that were left anyhow. She laughed a laugh that could cut through the thickest fog, the sharpness of it like a dagger in the ear. Jiri frowned in near disgust at the woman, he fought against his first instinct and eventually turned his lips into a polite smile. "Evening ma'am. Is there, uh, something I can do for you?" he asked her, hoping he could be rid of her.

Her thin, dry lips turned upward into a harsh grin, the skin cracking, the deep wrinkles of her face absorbing the light of the candle that flickered upon the table. "Yes of course young Jiri," she started, the boy across from her jumping as his name was spoken, "We've been waiting for you. I am called Tima. I am this towns enchantress. While you may not believe it, I am as young as you, but like this town, a curse has been cast upon me by the witch on the hill, Womac. She is angry with us because at the last festival of the Sea, we slighted her and forgot to offer her part of our bounty as thanks for her protecting the waterways for our sailors." The woman sighed, her old face beyond anything that one could call ugly. It was near impossible to believe that she was but a maid. "Womac stole my magic and cursed me with her face, taking mine to wear as her own. Our boats have all disappeared into the mist or the morning. Please, I read the stars and knew that you would come for us. In my dreams I saw you, I knew you would come and help us if we asked. I beg you, please."

Jiri studied the woman for a moment, a crease forming on his brow as he pondered the situation. After several moments, he nodded in assent. "Miss Tima, I will help you, but only on two conditions." Tima nodded rapidly, her haggish features flickering in the dim candle light. "Alright, first, if I do this thing for you, travel will be provided to me across the seas with the finest crew of sailors upon the finest ship you have in the village"

To this request, Time nodded emphatically, "Easily done. You may choose a crew of your own liking. What is the second request?"

Jiri smiled, a glint dancing in his eye, "If I get back your face and your magic and remove the curse from your town, you will come with me on my journey through the sea." He lips raised into a smirk, his blue eyes dancing in the flickering candle light. For a moment, he thought he saw a glimmer of youth in her eyes, though maybe his own were just playing tricks on him.

On this, Tima thought for several moments, running one of her hooked cronish fingers over her dry lip. Finally, she nodded in agreement. "You have my word that I will join you on your journey should you restore me to how I once was." She grinned, her rotten teeth making the sight unpleasant to say the least. Had the woman not been so ugly though, Jiri might have noticed the sad and concerned stares of the other people in the tavern as the enchantress told Jiri what he was to do.

After a heavy sleep, free from the nightmares of the Lady of the Sea, Jiri awoke in the morning refreshed. Readying his things, he carefully strapped on his sword round his waist, the pommel gleaming in the morning light. He walked into the main hall of the inn and, not seeing anyone, set about to find Womac.

He walked along the edge of the sea for three days to reach the hill. Upon his third day, he saw the hill. It was not really much of a hill, in fact, compared to the hills from his hometown, it was a rather pathetic hill. It was stubby looking, like a rotting pumpkin seeping into the ground. A thin line of smoke floated upward from the chimney that stuck out of the pathetic little hill. The door was pushed into the dirt. Jiri, feeling a light apprehension, began to walk toward the house in the hill, his hand resting on the pommel of his sword.

A moment later, the world went white as he felt a great flash of pain roll through the back of his head. Then, everything was black.

Jiri awoke inside a small, earthy house. The throbbing in his head was akin to the worst hangover imaginable, it was if someone had stick pins into his skul and they were pressing on his brain. He moaned, his eyes rolling around his skull. A cool cloth rested on his head. He sat up, clutching his skull as pain shot through it, a moan escaping his lips. "Bloody boulder must have fallen on my head." he thought to himself.

Behind him a voice spoke, "No, no rock, just a sock full of coins." A light pleasant laughter filled the house, the sound softened by the dirt walls. Jiri turned, his face paling as he realized what this waas indeed a witch. One of the dead people, something he had heard about only in the scary tales his father would tell him as a small boy. He turned, half expecting to see a monster, yet instead, he was met by perhaps the most beautiful visage he had ever seen. She had the face that would have made Ylessa jealous. His breath stopped in his throat. "But...you're a witch and a monster." He had of course forgotten that the enchantress had told him that the witch had stolen her face.

Womac looked at him and shook her beautiful head, her golden curls falling over her shoulders. "I am the Great Enchantress Womac. You had a run in with a Luddlelack. They are foul little beasts who wear blood soaked caps on their heads, steal coins from people and hide quite well. You're lucky I found you before one of them bite you, lest they poison you with their fangs." She paused for a moment in thought, "And no, I am no monster. I was born this way and that wretched witch Tima had me run out of town so she could cast a spell over it, cursing all the ships to the mist and the people into silence." She sighed heavily. "No doubt she told you I was a witch who had stolen her face. Well, you're not the first to try to come and kill me. But, for now, lie still till the stars clear from your head."

**And so, Miss Tzoli ender her story telling for the day. She invited me to the Crimson Wyvern to hear her tell another tale. Something about an Accidental Jester, I should like to record that tale as well.**

The Song of the Sea - The Beginning

**My name is Pernaval and I am a Scribe. It was late on the eve of the 11th Day of the End of Darkfall when a woman came to me. I must admit that it took me a moment to realize it was a woman, but when I did, I smiled as broadly at her as she did at me. I am not a great Scribe, nor am I a poor one, but what the lady suggested intrigued me. She said she wanted to have her stories recorded, but that she, herself was poor at writing and it was a laboured effort.

I kept this rendition as close to her tale as posible, save for her strange dialect and thick accent. I pray to Melchior that I do it justice, for she may not have been as smart as most women, but her story was beautiful.**

((A bit has been tacked on to the end of this page in a messy, large script.))

Mistar Pernaval gave me this copy of my storee to keep with me. I am putting it in my journil so later I can shar it with my frends.

This is the story of an ancient song that all men bore upon their hearts at one time. The ancient song that has faded into myth and rhyme and grand stories told by people like me and people like you. Before man bore the gifts of Elbahn on his heart, the gifts of Ylessa, the Gifts of the Gods, this song was born with them, like a silent mother buried deep within them.

Maybe, because of this, the sea has always been called a woman. I tend to think she is a Lady because no man has ever truly tamed her fickle heart. She draws men in and swallows them. She draws men in and takes everything from them. She draws men in and sends them home with the world in their hands. She is a mother and a mistress, a princess and a queen, a crone and a wise woman. She is a Lady, for she is versatile like a woman and her heart is free.

She gave man the Song of the Sea when they were new, a gift to them that only a mother can give. But, like a spoiled child, as time wore on, man forgot their gift and struck it from their hearts. Over the years, the words of the song have been lost to the dark recesses of the hearts of men. Pushed aside by love, by fear, by hate, by things less pure, by things more worthy. Those who recall the song are said to be pure, are said to be holy. Yet, even those who recall it as babes, oft forget it by the time they utter their first word, for it is pushed aside by all the emotions we bare as children on our hearts.

This is the story of a boy who bore the song upon his heart. But more, it is the story of his brother who fought the Lady of the Sea to get his brother back and, in the process learned the song all over again to bare upon his heart with all the emotions he had come to bare as a child and as a man. He learned the song and placed it on his heart with all the emotions that had made him forget in the first place.

In a time before the darkness, before the Twilight fell on the land, yet really, in a time not so long ago that it has been forgotten; there was a pair of brothers: Jiri and Randi. They were good boys, but strange boys. Jiri, the elder, was oft compared to the Golden Sun, for his features were all that can be called Radiant and Pure. His brother Randi was oft called the Blue Sun, for he was small and shy and hid behind a door that could not be seen, nor felt.

Randi was gifted by the Lady of the Sea. He bore her song upon his heart. Maybe this is why he remained so far away. He never loved, but he also never fought. He never feared, but he also never tried. He never said an ill word toward anyone, but he also spoke no good. He was very far away.

Despite this, Jiri adored him, he loved him more than the sun and the stars in the sky, more than the grass beneath his feet. He fawned on him day and night, spoke overflowing praises, did what his parents could not: get close. Jiri was a good man and everyone knew it.

When Randi ran off to the sea, no one said a word, for somewhere, deep down, they all knew he was a child of the Sea. Only Jiri was left open and wanted. Only Jiri was stunned and shattered. Only Jiri wept, for he was alone. His heart ached when he thought of the song his brother would sing in the deep of night when he thought the entire world was dreaming, Jiri used this song to comfort himself for the first month his brother was gone, trying to remember the words, but being unable. The dream of it, the memory of it haunted him to the deepest core of his being.

One night, he had a dream. A dream that his brother was being pulled into the Sea. A woman of Water and woe opened her arms and took his brother into her, not only as a mother, but also as a Mistress. "I have waited long for you Randi of the Sea. You are the boy who is alone, yet comforted. The boy who is my destined lover. I will take everything from you and we will be one," the Lady sang this in such a voice that it pierced into the sky. "Randi, my love, my life, stay with me and I shall give you everything. I shall teach you to love and to laugh. I shall teach you to forget. I shall teach you to sing." Jiri saw his brother in her arms and his breath stopped for a moment. He was scared. He did not want his brother born away by this woman, this beast. His breath was stopped in the eiderdowns of he water, he was pulled under and away from the light.

When his breath once again started to come, he awoke and sword he heard his brother singing to him, calling to him. Yet, no one was there. He resolved then and there to go after his brother. No woman should bare him away. No woman should have such power of him.

When the sun rose, he went to his family and told them of his dream. His mother's face fell ashen, his father could only purse his lips and nods. He told them he would go and search for his brother and bring him home. His mother begged him not to go. "Son, you can not bare away from the Sea what is already hers. She will swallow you and then I will have no sons left. Stay with your mother and get married to a fine girl and raise some grandchildren so that I may see them before Morhaig takes me."

But, Jiri would not be swayed, if anything he was headstrong and heartsure. "Mother, I cannot ignore the warning sent to me. I know Randi wishes me to take him away from the Lady of the Sea and bring him home. I know Randi has many shadows cast over him, but I know he should not be forced to forget us. I will go out and bring him home. Any woman who makes him cry, is not worthy to be with him, Lady of the Sea or otherwise." He picked up his pack that he had prepared in the deep of night when sleep would not retake him. He had no weapon save a small knife he used for killing chickens. He had only a change of clothes, a fishing pole, flint and tinder, and enough money to bare him passage upon a boat. "Mother, I swear upon the Rising Sun Cymur that I will return to you. When I do, I will marry any girl of your choosing, but now, I must do this."

His mother assented to his wish, for she knew she could not persuade him other wise. "Fine son, but take this with you so you do not forget your home and your promise," she said, taking the pendant of Cymur she wore around his neck, "It will hold you to your oath and keep you safe." She placed the pendant round his neck and kissed her son on each of his cheeks as a mother tends to do when wishing him the best.

Jiri walked out the door, followed by his father. "Come with me son, I have some things for you now that you are a man." He led his son into the barn. He opened up a floorboard and brought out a large cloth. He held it out to him and smiled, "This is the sword I got from my father on the day I married your mother. I was saving it for the day you married, but I think now is a better time." He unwrapped the cloth, showing a sturdy sword with a hilt of gold, the pommel bore the symbol of Cymur. His father spoke honestly, "I cannot say if this is a magic sword or not, but I do know that it has always brought our family good health and good fortune, even in the bad times. Keep it with you through the bad times and surely you will make it through."

Jiri hugged his father as he took the sword, but no words came to his head as being right to say, so he just smiled and bowed. He turned and walked away, knowing that the first steps were always the hardest, but that he must take them with his head held high. And that is what he did.

[End Part One]

**It was here that we ended for the night for it had grown still and dark and my hand was slowing with weariness. We agreed that she would come back in the morning and finish her tale.**

10th Day of the End of Darkfall, Elday

Today whin I woke up frum my sleep, I ramembered sumthin I han't ramembered innah long time. I ramembered bein real lil and my mum talking to me. I ramembered her sayin sumthin to me, or maybe to sumone near me, but I ramembered it fer sum reesin today.

I ramember my mum tellin me bout whin I wuz sick and the times befer it. I dunt even ramember ah time bafer whin I was sick, much less acshalee bein sick. Anaway, my mum sed I shoud have bin ded, but I wasnt cuz she prayed fer me tah be worthee of joinin Balor's Army whin I died. She said that bafer I was sick, I was swift and strong and smart and hedid to be the best soldier in the villige. I thot she was crazy, mostly because I was young and I dint ramember such a time. She sed befer I was in school, I was better than all the other childrins an did her proud. She sed she dint no why the Gods spared my life frum the burnin heat in my bons and the fever on my brain, but it had killd evaryone else who had it in the villige. I think my mum had drunk a bunch of wine, cuz her eyes were floatin in her head and I now unnerstand what that look is cuz I recintlee had too much ale and I think I got drunk. So I think my mum was also drunk whin she told me this thing. She sed that I wasnt like I ustah be. But, she was still glad I dint die. She sed I still had the chance to be a gret warrier and join Balor's Army. I dunno.

I dunno nuthin bout Balor's Army. I dint no Gods needid armees. I kinna wish I coud ramember bein smart tho, but its problee fer the best I dunt. I no I am luckee. I spose even if I was diff'rint bafer, we all gotta chang. I changd one time whin I was little and one time just now. Maybe I'll git to chang agin like that? I wonder what kind of chang the next one will be?

9th Day of the End of Darkfall, Melday

I helpd Sky heel peepul today. It was hard work, but I liked it. I helpd move peepul and wash peepul who coudnt and stuff like that. I want to learn lots more. She thinks I can lern spells and balms and poshins, but I dunno. I'll try reel hard, but I no I have limitashins. Mebbe if I try veree hard, I will be able to do magics. I dunt want to let Sky down, she reelee wants to pass on her nolige.

I am tryin veree hard to get on with my lif. I still hav hurt feelins inside frum Sil. I went lookin fer her in the southern outpost, but she wasnt there. I lookt and lookt, but I coudnt find her, I new thats where she went tho cuz I herd her. I no she was headid thre. I am worreed she dacidid to run off into the darkness. I am scared i will never see her agin.

I was accused of tellin secrits recently. I never tell secrits, espeshelee when they coud git other peepul hurt. But, its pro'blee my fault anaway. THings tend tah be my fault even whin I dont no bout it. I wish I was better and stronger and more like the others. I no they think down on me and dont reelee think I shoud be like them, but I kinna help what I am. They think I am like a child, they think I am stupid. Its hard, this thing I have cuz I lern the truth of things. But, I was told by my frend that you do not have to be smart to be wize.

8th Day of the End of Darkfall, Sycaday

I am veree sad. I dunno if that says it enuff tho. I feel like a big hevee rok has bin throw on me, then two mor addid fer good mesur. I think I saw the seccind worsest thing ever. I saw Sil, I saw what she was captured fer. They carved her up likah chikkin an then set her out to rot. I no it was the man in thah shadows who was giving the orders to the gard. I no it! But, I kinna and shoud not say nuthin cuz then I'll be next, or worser, Rylian or Skye or my other frends.

I'm scared to even think it and I have put a mask onto my hed to cover up my thots. I start thinkin about single things, like flowers and pupees and other things that make no diff'rince to no one.

I am proud of myself tho, I dint cry. Not one teer fell out of my eye after I saw Sil, or rather her body. That wunt Sil no mor. I coud heer her there in thah Gazebo, I coud heer her thots and I new it was her. No one else new, but I did, I would no her ...voice I guess, anawhere. There was manee times I thot I woud cry, But I dint. I kepts rubbin my eyes to make sure I wunt cryin. I ramembered my mum tellin me only week peepul cry and I had to have a strong hart so I din't make Balor unhappy. I dun wanna make no God unhappy so I will try my veree best not to cry. Not onlee fer me, but also to help all my frend who are not smilin anamor.

I met a killer. His thot was reel and horabal all at the same time. I had to fite aginst evarything in me not to screem and shot and tell peepul, pointin my finger at him. I no I am not a smart woman, but I dunt think I am a bad persin. I hate feelin like a lier tho. I hate it. I feel like evarytime I hide this thing that I am, I am a big fat lier. Liers are week hartid. I no that.

6th Day of the End of Darkfall, Morday

Today manee bad things happind. But also sum good things. At least I think good. Rylian and Sil was tryin veree hard to be nice to eech other just for my sake. They think that they are like oil and water. It is kinda funnee cuz they both are veree much the same, even what is inside. I try to make them mor niss to each other and they try, both of them and I no they are my good good frends.

But, bad things always happin. Always. Just when I think I am doin good with myself and how things are, sumthin bad happins. First it was evarything with my head, then it was sumthin I should have stopped with it. The gard cam for Sil. I told her to run away, run away. I herd the gard in my hed. I herd them makin plans and goin fer her. They was going to git me and Rylian also, I no it. I told her to run, but coudnt esplain why I new she shoud. But she ran anaway. Rylian and I ran away also. I was veree scared. My guts was twistin all around.

I am a burdin to the peepul around me. They lov me and care fer me, but they slow down fer me. I hate that. I hate that feelin of bein hevee to peepul. I no I am not week like they think I am. I dunno. Mebbe I am week. I kinna do magic and I have a hard time unnerstandin things. But I dunt think I am week.

Rylian and I went diff'rint ways. It was my idea cuz I dint wanna be a burdin. I ran to the south outpost. I stayed in the inn tryin to calm down. I was hurtin and scared, all the pain on my insides frum aches of the hart. Sumone cam into the inn, but I coudnt see then, only hear them. They were as scared as me. They sed they saw a murder. A hor'ble murder. I kept thinking it was Sil, even bafer thah lady 'sed' that the girl had a scar on her face. My hart was gunna stop I thot. Sumwhere in my hed, I thot I new it was her. I coudnt cry tho. I coudnt shout and screem and ask for mor. It was so hard. So veree hard.

I ran away, I ran and cryd. I tryd to fite them teers, but I coudnt. I coudnt attall.