Taday I fownd Sehki all hurt and stuff. He had bits of clay in him and was all bleeding evarywhere. Wen I first saw him I through he had gottin hurt by sumone and I was veree worreed abot it. I hate seeing peepul git hurt.... unless they daserv it. It lookt like he got throwd into the wall of the dojo.
I was scart cuz he could hardlee talk and stuff and ther was blood evarywhere. He dropt a vial of sum sort of poshin. He sed it was a presint fer me. I carreed him to the hospatal. I went quicklee but I din't wanna hurt him worser. I got a nurse to take care of him. I stayd with him all night. I felld asleep ferrah littal bit, but I do not sleep much and I woke up wen the nurse brought me sum watar to drink and a bit of bread. He sed he got blowd up by the persint he made me. I did not no that presints coud blow you up. It maks me feel bad and it is all my falt Sehki is hurt.
He is still sleeping. They changed his bandigis a littal bit ago.
Missus Nybrylla and Rat gived me a presint also. She sed she was sorree she coud not come to my party, but she got me sum shinee things. I got two new rings. One has a sparklee purpal stone in it. It glints the light real purty like. The othar one is a niss perl ring. I gotta wer it on my first fingar tho cuz my fingers is too skinny and I dun want it to fall off.
Vek... dirty rottin stupid Veks. I swear they are evarywhere. I hate them so much, but I am scard of them. I git scard of them so much I think my knees will brake aginst eech othar frum ther shaking. One of them took Hemo away. I tryd to stop her. I tryd reel hard, but I coud not git him away frum her. She hit me once aftar I prayed at her loudly. It made her mad I think. That made me a littal glad. I liked seeing her all squirmee like a fat littal worm. She hit me once an it hurt ah lil bit, but I've gottin bettar at controling my angar and dark rage thing in me so I managed to stay in me.
Aftar she hit me once, I figgered out how she movd an she did not hit me agin. She was fast tho. I was scared of hitting hemo wen I tryd fer her, so I pulld my hits I think. I was thinking to hard wen I tryd to smash her up. Sehki was ther also. he castid a spell on me that made me feel all tuff and stuff. It was good.
That vek with the big boosums dragged Hemo away frum me and I ran aftar her with Sehki. But ther was anuthur vek ther. Mebbe I coud have takin one Vek, but not to of them. I prayd fer help. I prayd and prayd, but no help came. I was not strong anuff to take to veks, so I grabd Sehki and ran away like a week hartid coward. I had to choose who to save and i saved Sehki. I do not think I will fergive myself fer that evar.
If I was smartar I coud have thinkd up a way to save both of them. If I was smartar or strongar I coud have saved them both. But I am not smart and I am not strong anuff so I coud not save them both.
Missus Feydra was ther and she ran away. I think mebbe if I was smart I woud run away to. But I can not run away. I have to fite, it is the onliesst thing I can do. Balor wants me to fite, he showed me it. I try so hard but I am still not strong anuff to fite veks. Othar peepul are not so bad to fite, but veks... its like they are magic or sumthing. I never feel fast anuff.
I have to go and try to save Hemo. Now that Sehki is safe I have to go and save Hemo frum the Vek. He is my studint and it is my dutee to pertekt him. I have to or else I will be a bad teechar.
And a bad warrier.
How did I get here?
Bare stone walls, cold, hard floor, barred windows. The stench of twenty men, most half starved or at least half dead, fills the air. Somewhere in another room there is singing. The voice is familiar...
That's me singing, that's my voice. Where am I? Who am I?
A hand raised to the face, smooth white skin becomes visible. A ring on the index finger made of polished gold. A strange symbol impressed into the top of the ring. Concentric circles, slashes, floretts grace the man's ring on the finger that is obviously not quite large enough to sport it. A boy's hand with no callouses.
The words drift into the room through the walls, permiating them, almost vivible as they float into the room. Feelings of nostalgia haunt the body, but not the soul. The soul itself feels cramped into the body, stuffed into a place it does not fit. It wears the body like an odd suit, unable to move in it freely.
The gravely voice continues to sing perhaps from an adjacent cell. This is a cell, the bars give it away, the stench, the reek of death. The voice trails off. A few minutes later the screaming starts.
No one here listens, or at least no one here reacts.
A tear slips down the face.
Why am I here? What sort of dream is this?
The tear turns to smoke and rises upward, dissapearing into the cieling. Another tear falls, then rises. Soon, the room is filled with smoke. The body slumps, the soul falling out of it and rising up with the smoke. The body is visible now. A small boys body lays slumped over, it's chest rising and falling in shallow breath. Mousy brown hair falls over the gaunt, bruised face. Even with the bruises, the boy looks young, no more that 12 summers old.
The others crowd around the boy, lurking and leering. One takes the ring, another takes the boots, another takes the clothes, leaving the poor lad bare on the floor. His skin is perfect and the other men see that, a horrible glint marks one of other prisoner's eyes.
Gods... he's just a boy. Just a boy. Stop it! Stop it!
Suddenly the soul become the boy, the body changing into that of a grown woman's. The faces change to patches of black... people become nothing more than shadows. The shadows claw and grab, fingers whisping through the flesh.
The screaming from the adjacent cell continues, the voice dry and harsh. Muffled screams dance upward to the ceiling where the soul floats from this cell.
The screams turn into a choir, music of terror, of disgrace. The room fades away, nothing remaining but the shadows and their greedy claws that rake through flesh trying to steal whatever they can grab, but they can grab nothing, so they continue to rake the flesh.
*entering*
*tearing*
*entering*
*leaving*
Stop it...please stop it. Balor, give me strength. Oh please...
The body turns to smoke in an attempt to escape the ghostly claws that tear the flesh, but they begin to tear the flesh that is no longer there. Shadow tearing smoke. The smoke turns into a soul and floats upward, once again in a room. A box with no windows, no doors, just a closed in space with the walls closing in.
The soul at the top of the room shatters into pieces, unraveling into tiny threads. Still aware, still looking on, but now in a field of white. Pure white. The memory of what just happened slips away as things tend to do in dreams, leaving only the feeling of despondance.
A boy's voice sing from somewhere in the world...
Hemo got me a new jurnil. It is veree niss. It is just like my old jurnil ekcept it duz not have a sun on it... and it duz not have all of my writing in it. Strange anuff tho, it did have my name in it. Hemo handid the jurnil to me and there is wuz, my name, in big letters. Not my full name, but Tzoli. It was not my writing in it, but it was veree close. So close I almost thot I had fergottin writing in that jurnil. Hemo said he got it frum a shop. Jus sitting there... with my name in it. How manee peepul in the world can be named Tzoli? It is not commin. Me and my fathur only so far as I no.
Why woud sumone try to make a copy of my jurnil? Why woud they try that? I am a littal scard to write in that one so I am using this othar one I got still evin tho it is not veree good. Wat happins to sumone who writes in a jurnil that seems like... I do not no. A trap mebbe? I am in my room now and it is sitting beside me on the bed. The red lethur is so smooth and niss. The jurnil wants me to write in it, I can tell, I meen, it had my name on it.
I was temptid to put the rest of my name in it, after the first bit there. I was temptid, but I got scard. I need to talk to sumone smartar then me, see if they no why a jurnil woud have my name in it.
I have bin inspired latlee to write more storees. I have lots of them sitting in my hed. I need to find sumone who will write them down for me cuz I am no good at writing my own storees down. No good attall. Mebbe that is wat I will use that new jurnil fer. Writing storees. That woud be good. I askt Gabreeul to write them fer me, but she sed she was buzee with stuff.
My teeth hurt me still, but not as bad. The toothpiks are doing mor to help now. I am still gitting horabal hedakes tho. At nite, wen I am alone in my room, my hed bangs and throbs me. I can heer my hart beeting in my hed so loud it is like thundar. BANG BANG BANG! All the time. I do not no why my hed hurts. Wen it starts to hurt, I do pushups and pullups and go to train sum to make the hurting stop. I try to fill up my hed with prayers to Balor and the Gods. If I fill my hed up with those things, then mebbe the hurting will stop. Wen I woke up today, my nose was bleeding me and my hed was hurting so much it felt like sticks was smashing my skull frum the inside. The bleeding stopd aftar a littal bit, it was not reelee bad.
The sun was not up yet, so I went to train and wait fer it to rise in the gardins. It was niss and warm out. It was good. The ake in my hed stopped and I felt bettar. Is it reelee my teeths making my hed hurt so much?
I was going to kill that woman. I reelize that now. I do not think I had no intenshin of talking to her attall. I was going to smash my littal, well, not so littal, hammer into her face and watch it go splat. Meandrah, I think that is wat Hemo calld her.
She wantid to becom a monstar. There is only one thing in thah hole world I think are monstars and that is Vek. There is only one type of persin I think is trulee eval and that is Vek. Eval is not a word I use litely, but with them, I use the word. The nitemares linger on inside me evin tho I want to fergit them. Evin tho I don't got no new ones. They are there and I still feel the pain of them and the feer of them and the total hatrid and angar frum them. I still want to kill those dirty stinky Veks and I reelized, I was not gunna try to talk her out of bacoming one, I was just gunna smash her stupid face in with my hammar.
She ran away. Me and Hemo ran aftar her, searching and looking. We ran but we coud not find her. If I see her agin, I will not wait I dont think. If I see her agin, I will turn her hed into a puddal on the ground and draw Balor's symbal on her hart bafer I sacrafiss her body to him. Wanting to become a monstar, it is... insane, crazy, ignerint.
The thing that scard me most was the need inside of me to kill her. It was the first thing I reelee wantid to do in a long time. I wantid to kill her and sacrafiss her heethin body to Balor. I needid to kill her. I needid it like I need to breeth. I wantid to rain holy rage on her, the same way I put it down on the othar man who sed bad things abot Balor. Is my rage holy? Or is that just my feeling on it? I am scared of myself, the need to be angry and to kill is like a hungar. It fills me up and I do not no if I can hold it all in and wait for my rage to come out in a good way.
I pray evaryday for Balor to guide me. Evary breth I take is like a prayer to Him. Wen Sehki castid his spell on me, I saw all the clowds in my hed go away. I saw things cleer fer a wile. I saw that I wantid to be a holy warrior. I wantid to teech othars to be the same so I coud bild Balor an army agin. The spell went away and all the fog rolled bak ovar my ideas and I lost most of them, but those to thots stayd with me. I do not no if I wantid to leed that army, I think mebbe in that momint of cleerniss I did. I do not ramembar, the fog has takin away all the things that put one thot on the next and my mind is a jumbal agin. I want...
I want to clowds to part agin. I want to bild His Ar