So, The time has come to say goodbye. I really enjoyed writing this Blog. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I am amazed I lasted this long and pleased with how things went.
This is the IC last entry. Enjoy.
--Utopia
==================
"Yes, I do believe you are."
The voice is like ice on the surface of the molten River. There is no source. The sunless sky remains as it was, but in the distance, the boatman can be seen. "Come." She steps onto the boat, she is alone. "You are lucky you died on a Morday."
Crossing the river, she stares out. She watches the wave lap up and over the distancing shore. She smiles inwardly as she watches the sky pass by, unmoving, unchanging. Despite the River being of molten lead, it is calm, or perhaps it is merely the feeling of her heart.
"Soon, soon I'll be there... soon I'll see them all again."
A warm glow spreads over her and she smiles. "Yes, soon now." The boat glides to the far shore of the River, hitting land. "Off."
As she steps off, she is greeted by one of Morhiag's Cwn Annwn. She stares at the beast for a moment, knowing she should feel fear at it. Knowing that if she was not standing on the shore of the River Leath, she probably would feel fear. Instead, she simply smiles. "I rekkin yer here tah take me tah thah City?"
The beast turns and starts walking and she follows. A wall of thorns appears, another, soon, she is surrounded, following the beast through the maze. Others also wander, but she pays them no mind, her focus set only on the creature leading her through the maze.
For days, months or maybe only minutes they walk through the maze. Time has no meaning, no purpose. When they arrive at the end of the maze, the tall woman walks through the gate, greeted by a host of people on the other side. Most of them walk in a daze, uncaring, unaffected by anything. Some weep, others moan and wail, some even run through the streets laughing. This is the City of the Dead. The unjudged live here.
She smiles and turns to thank the creature, but it is gone and the gate is closed.
"Zo!"
She turns.
"Zo!"
She blinks. "Oh Gods above me an' below me." The tears fall immediately. And she runs to him. "I... dreamed, I dreamed of this..."
The boy embraces her. He is much shorter than she, younger, unaged and unchanged. Through her blurry eyes she strokes his hair. "Zo... I've been waitin'. I've been waitin an' waitin. I had tah tell yah I'm sorry." He looks up at her, his eyes clear now. "Zo... I'm sorry I left yah. I din't mean tah. I'm sorry I got yah burnt up with me."
"Six years...Yah waitid six year jus tah tell me thah?" She drops to her knees, embracing her friend. He kisses the top of her head. "Yup, I waitid. Yer awfal pop'ular here. Well, in sum circals anaway." He laughs, rubbing her cheek. "Yah found ah good place an made lotsah friends who loved yah."
"Why did yah wait?" She asks, looking up at him now from her knees.
"I hadtah. I said we'd be tagethur. I'd make yah happy. I left evarythin undone. I nevar told yah how much I loved yah. I nevar told yah how I begged yer mum to let me marry yah. I nevar told yah nuthin like thah." He pats her head lovingly. "I think mebbe I hurt yah real bad when I went and died without yah. I nevar wanid tah do thah, sah I hadtah wait. I had tah git yer fergivniss bafer I went tah find mah judgemint."
He lifts her up, she stands almost a foot above him now. "Yah got tallar agin, din't yah?"
"I rekkin I did."
"Why are yah here sah soon?" he asks, looking at her.
"Cuz I died."
"Why did yah go an do ah thing like that?" he scolds softly.
"Cuz I'mmah warrier."
He laughs, lifting a hand to her cheek. He touches her hand, bringing it to his lips. "I shouldah known. Yah fallahed aftar yer father anaway, din't yah?" he kisses her hand again. "I rekkin yah went an tried tah be all heroic, likah knight in onnah yer stories. How many men did it take tah bring yah down?"
"Jus one."
He scoffs, "One?"
"Mmm... I died tah save him. I rekkin it wuz technically thah demmin thah took me down."
He kisses her hand again. "We could stay here ferevar yah an me."
"No, we kinna. I gotta go." She waves to the Temple of Morhiag. She taps her heart, "I feel it here. I gotta go there. It's callin me."
He smiles up at her, caressing her face, "Lay with me then."
"Alright." And without qualms they did. They lay together both for the first time in the City of the Dead. They embraced as lovers and for a brief moment, everything was as it should have been in life. They lay together for days, enjoying one another as they had been unable to in life. And when it was over, they walked toward the Temple as one.
"Oh Zo... yer thah same as evar. I missed yah." He kisses her hand again. "I always knew yah werah hero. I knew yah'd grow up tah beah knight." He looks at her, "I'll join yah soon. I promise."
"Niko...I love you..." she says, touching his cheek again. "We wouldah hadah wondarful fam'lee. Yah an me. We wouldah... Mebbe in thah next life? Right?"
He smiles and nods. "Yes Zo, in the next life."
He falls away from her, over shadowed by others. Whether he goes to the Temple or not, she is unsure. She stands upon the stairs leading up to it in no time. The priests greet her there. "Are you ready?"
Her black eyes fall upon them and she smiles. "Yes. Yes I am."
The priests lead her in. They do not seem like the others in the city. Dead... alive.. it is impossible to tell. They begin to prepare her for the ceremony. She doesn't fuss, she doesn't prim. She simply accepts it as they dress her, clean her, pray over her. "Clean, I feel so clean. This is what peace is. This is it. I am ready."
"Come with us."
She follows the priests to the Throne of Morhiag. For a split second she feels fear. Fear of being overwhelmed in the presense of a Goddess, of a God. The ceremony begins, everything is a blur.
"This is your final judgement!"
She looks up, her lips parting as she stares into the face of her Final Fate. "You have served the Gods. You have shown Faith. For this, you are rewarded. You died with Your Lords's name on your lips." She simply nods then.
A hand is felt on her back, a strong hand. She turns to see a man, not so much unlike herself. "Come. I have come to take you home now."
She follows the tall man, a man she can look in the eye as he speaks. "Where...?"
"To our Lord. He calls for you." he says, taking her to the chariot that awaits them. He waves to a weapon with in. A gleaming hammer, simple, strong, sturdy. "For you, The Hammer of Yarsin... of Telantha."
She grins and picks up the weapon. "Thanks."
"Tzoli... nice work on that Vek in the woods. That Demon too."
She stops and stares at the man. "How do you know my name?"
"How can I not know the name of the child named after me?"
"Pappa..."
"Come now, your mother is waiting for us with Balor."
The End
I have written the following to wrap up Tzoli's story because I felt there were things that still needed saying. A few things that will show everyone where she was coming from and how she felt at the end.
Also, I was one entry away from 250.
So, the following stories (there should be one more after this one) are "The End".
On the Shores of the River Leath
”….Don't lose yourself and you'll find happiness."
Losing her strength, her will, her soul was pulled back to the shores of the River Leath before she could finish her last line that now echoed around her now by the river.
“Remember… to smile and never lose hope. Keep Faith and Hope…”
She wondered idly if they heard it. She didn’t care anymore. She had said her last goodbyes to those she cared for and fulfilled all her promises as best she could.
She never saw Morhion turn back into a man. She never saw the people mourn for her. She never knew that she was missed.
Looking up to the sunless sky, she smiled and said her final prayer. She was calm, calmer than she had ever felt. “My purpose, I’ve lived my purpose and now I am ready to be judged. They’ll all be fine without me. I know it.” She looked to the seemingly endless river; the ethereal waters of the River that would lead her to Annwn. “That water… that is what I wish to be… those waters. So calm and serene. So peaceful, so strong, so constant. To be like water.”
“Morhiag… Balor… Gods, I am ready to be judged. I am ready for you to see me as I am. I have nothing more to hide, nothing more to do. I’ve lived my purpose.”
And so, she moved forward in her bitter-sweet peace. She thought of the moments of her life, each one pulling strongly on her heart. The heart that had always ruled her life was now pulling on her to continue forward to her final Fate. A fate which left her no fear, only resolve.
“Momma…”
She remembered as a child how she had played at her mother’s feet. Reading books together. She remembered how she didn’t struggle with it as she had later in life. The word on the page was natural. She laughed and smiled and was happy at her mother’s skirts. She remembered being cherish. “My little star, my little sun, you are so smart. You’re going to grow up to be stronger than your father. Balor surely has blessed us to give us such a perfect child.” The warmth of the woman spread had always spread over her like a blanket. A warm afghan that wrapped her up to gently and gave her strength on the coldest days. “My little star, Balor’s blessing is on you.”
“Momma… soon, soon we’ll be together again.”
“The fever has taken her mind and left her empty. You should just let her go. Do not save her as a shell.” The sagoma laid his wrinkled hand on the woman who stands over the bed. “She is not a shell. She is my daughter. I will not have her die in this way. She has a great Fate and I will not stand back and let her die.” The woman shoves the sagoma aside, showing remarkable strength as she tosses him like a bale of hay. “Little star… little star. My little Sun, you have to listen to me now, you have to listen and hear my words. You have to accept what I am going to do…”
The ritual. A distant memory long forgotten. She remembered now how her mother had saved her life. Inscribed the Runes of the Gods upon her and made her repeat the words.
“I accept… I… accept Balor, Morhiag on... me.”
She remembered the blinding pain of the fever and the delirium that had struck her down from the lofty height to which she had been born. She remembered the feeling of the slice of the knife on her back, the carving of the runes onto the dark skin. The inking of the scars. She remembered it all.
And she was thankful.
“She knew all along. She must have known for a long time.”
As she walked along the shore, she was reminded of the days after the ritual. How she had to work ten times as hard just to think. How she couldn’t grasp the simplest things anymore. How she struggled just to keep up with her daily chores and remember her tasks. She remembered how her mother worked with her every day, every night, every moment to keep her strong. She remembered the late nights when she struggled with the simplest of assignments from her posh school.
The images of her mother soon faded and she began to remember the others who had been in her life. Others who she would soon meet in Annwn.
“Ah Zo… yah tell the best stories. Yah realee oughtah give up tryin tah fight. Give up on tryin tah be like yer pa.” The boy with the milky eyes laid his head on his hands. Wheat surrounded them as they lay deep within the crops, hiding away from the chores. “I know, I know. Yah kinna give it up. One day we’ll have children yah know and yah’ll have tah give it up.” His hand reaches blindly for her and she takes it. “Only ahnuthur month ‘til we’re wed,” she says with a smile.
“I’m so happy,” they say in unison. They laugh, the wind whipping the wheat around them.
“We’ll name tha first boy aftar me. Nikolas Evan. An’ we’ll name the second boy after yah. Tzoli Kita. They’ grow up an’ be strong an’ clever. Annah lil’ girl, we’ll name her Dorra aftar my grams.” The boy sighs, brushing the tips of his fingers over the wheat he cannot see. “I’ll run thah farm an yah’ll be thah best mum in thah wholah Yarsin.”
“Well, I rekkin thah’s be awfal nice. Sah long as we kin name onnah em Jeri an onnah ‘em Silvia. An yah lemme teach ‘em Balor’s ways. Yah know I gotta do thah.” The boy smiles and nods. “Ah course. I’d ‘spect nuthin less frum thah Daughter ovah Gibor.”
“Zo… I am gunna make yah happy. Yer mah best friend. Mebbe we’ll evin learn tah love each other like all them Knights and Princessis yer always making storees about. Yah’ll be thah Knight an’ I’ll be thah princess. Yah’ll rescue me an’ we’ll be in love ferever and ever. Blessed by thah Gods themselves.”
“Oh Niko… we’ll be together again soon.”
“Tzoli, ye old romantic you.” The girl with the cross-hatch scars says, taking over this part of her walk down the River. “You know, I’m going to do something for you. I promised Elbahn and the rest of the Gods I would do something to give you pleasure. You’re my friend.” The girl sits on a cot in a small cloister, holding a cherry laden spoon. The pair laugh together scooping up another bite of the shared pie.
“Yah dun gotta do nuthin tah give me pleasure yah know. Yer back an I’ll pertect yah now.” The woman playfully punches her arm and smiles. “I know I don’t have to. I want to. I’m going to make you a dress. The finest dress of red silk cuz it's your favourite. One that will make even you look like a woman. One that will bring you your knight in shining armor.”
“Sil… I wonder if you’re in Annwn too. Did the Demons get you when you walked south?”
“Knight in shining armor? Well Tzoli, I’m not much of a knight.” A boy with curly red hair sits on the ground, legs crossed. “I love yer hair.” she says, changing the subject. She reaches out and touches the curly red mop. “Its mah fav’rit coler yah know. Bright an shiny red. I love it.” He smiles at her and picks up his knife, cutting off a lock, his cheek darkening to the colour of his hair. “Then it’s a gift to you.” The scarred hand clutches the lock tightly. “Thah’s thah best gift evar.”
“Tzoli… you know, we should get married. You and me. I’ll give you a child like you want.” he leans forward and kisses her softly. His cold lips leaving desire where they touched as he pulls away. “I’d like to give you a child. Something that is us. I don’t know how long I’ll be around to be its father, but I know you’ll be the best mother and care for it without me.”
“Rylian… I wonder if You’re with your Dark Queen now too. Did you meet Niko in Annwn? I wonder if you two are fighting over me now like…”
“For Tzoli they fought a duel, the Monster and the Reeve….”
Whispers course through the streets, “Did you hear who was fighting? Did you hear who they were fighting over?” The words drift past the ears, caught on the air of rumors. “Can you believe it? That hammer wielding dryth. They were fighting for her.”
“Tzoli, we fought the other day. Morhion and I. I won…” “Tzoli the gods blessed me in the fight. And then this… My dearest, I’ll become a man for you.”
“I wonder if he will ever become a man. I’m sure of it. He doesn’t need me for that. Not at all. Ylessa will bless him. So sweet. I’m sure when he’s a man again, he’ll find someone new and better than me.”
The river grow more still, the slow, rhythmic waves of molten lead. Watching the water she thought of another, Bjar. She smiles to herself as she paused in her quest to the city. “He came back from the city. After he saw Her. Didn’t humble him at all. But, that is who he was, full of himself to the bitter end. That’s something I loved about him.”
“Tzol, I want to take your sins away for you. I’ll take them onto myself.” They sit over a table, eating stew and rabbit. “Yah know I kina let yah do thah in thah same way yah wou’nt let me do thah same thing fer yah. There’sah resin I ain’t nevar evin asked.” He shrugs and smiles slightly. “I figured you’d say no.”
“I hadtah. But I rekkin we kin lean on each other an’ hold each other up. I got strong shoulder yah know. I kin carry lotsah stuff.” He smiles, looking tired. “Yes, yes you can my sister. Now, go and win that tournament for me.”
The girl on the shore laughs slightly. “It doesn’t hurt anymore to be called Sister.” She laughter turns louder, brighter and jovial. She looks up to the sky in a mirthful prayer. “Ah Melchior… watch over him. He’ll need someone to lean on and You’re the only one he’s really got now.”
She turns from the river and continues on her way. The sky seems ethereal around her. “I am ready to be taken… I wonder how much longer to the city. To be judged.”
Pain in the head, an arm around her shoulder; warm and comforting. A gentle embrace. "We are friends. We both ask and give the same thing. And that is why there is peace." Time passes and the lips draw near, but do not touch, pulled away by fear.
“Yes, there is peace. I’m glad I protected you Aanson. You’ll be able to do so much more than me in the World. I don’t blame you at all. I knew… I knew from the moment you pulled me out of the cell that I wasn’t going to be going back. I knew. I should have told you, but you wouldn’t have let me go.”
She stops on the shore and stares outward. “I knew…” she murmurs aloud, her voice haunting and breathy.
“Yes… yes. Now I am ready to be judged.”
And so... this chapter of my roleplay Ends, and Tzoli walks the Shores of the River Leath. She walks to the City Annwn to be judged.
She died happy.
This is her last goodbye.
The Western Gate
The large wooden doors extend fifteen feet up in height, each easily at
least eight feet in width. A large iron bar runs along the backs of the
door, ready to secure it closed against any forces outside, or simply to
lock up for the night. A smaller door is carved into the Northern of the
larger door, allowing folk to traverse through out into the plains with-
out having to open the larger heavy set doors. Two large ornate stone urns
mark the beginnings of a large and well traversed cobbled street that extends
out to the East.
[ Exits: north east south (west) ]
(x4) A corpse of a tall, gangly human is lying here.
Aanson, a wan-faced man is fighting a horribly deformed human!
Morhion, a horribly deformed human is fighting a wan-faced man!
You shimmer into existance..
"I never doubted your love." Aanson smiles sadly, and all his kha turns to mere mist, as he abandons his attempt at healing. "But whatever it is that Ylessa saw in you...it must have died along with her." He draws the dagger from his belt, and holds it out towards Morhion. "No more games. Abandon this madness, now, and return to the Seven. I..." His eyes widen, and he looks over at Tzoli.
Tzoli smiles brightly from over her corpse and waves her hand. Her hair is loose, waving about her head as if there is a light breeze. "Stop it. I'm leaving now. I'm going to be judged. Stop it... no regrets. No regrets." She brings her hand to her lips and kisses them before moving her hand outward. "Don't cry..."
Morhion as Aanson looks over at Tzoli so does he.
You think to yourself: 'One regret... just one. That I was too cowardly to say anything while I was alive. That I was too cowardly to tell you... to kiss you. I'm a coward, but I have no regrets, I protected you, so I have no regrets. I'm going to my mother now... to my father. To Annwn. I have no fear anymore. No regrets.'
"Tzoli..." Morhion is instantly forgotten, though Aanson still holds out his dagger. "I...Tzoli...!" He cannot quite seem to string words together. "Not...don't you go, too..."
Tzoli smiles softly and looks down at her corpse. She chuckles, lifting a hand to her mass of hair. "No regrets... this was my Fate. I told you it was my fate. Balor showed me. I was ready. I... wasn't meant for this world anymore. I never belonged. I was always out of place... in between. I'm going now... going to get judged by the Gods." She smiles softly and reaches a hand out. "You're strong. Stronger than me."
Morhion grows quiet for a moment before..his claw-like hand is still in a fighting position, before he pulls something out of his bag: a worn pieace of parchment. His words are strung along as he speaks, "My Beloved...I was going to give this to you...I dropped it from my bag...and found it once again...I was making a present for you...a late birthday present...I told you I'd finish it remember...? You were so happy when I told you..." his hand shakes gently.
"No I'm not," Aanson murmurs, touching his fingertips to Tzoli's. He shivers as fingers merely pass -through- hers. He glances over at Morhion, but only for a second, before his attention is on Tzoli again. "I don't believe it," he murmurs. "This...this wasn't. Not here. Not yet."
Morhion grow silent again...the fight slowly being drained from his eye as the emotion of the lose hits him once again..
"I didn't mean to lie to you Aanson. I didn't want to come back and give you a haunt, but I also didn't want to lie to you. I promised you I would tell you what I was thinking yesterday. I promised and I didn't tell you because I'm a coward." Tzoli reaches her hand up to Aanson's cheek, but is unable to touch it. "I'm a coward... like you said you were a coward. I understand now. I do. Its clear in my head. For the first time... clear." She smiles at Aanson. "Thank you... for the day when you held me. It meant a lot to me. No one ever... I'm sorry I'm a coward."
"Don't be," Aanson murmurs, a shiver running through him. "You're not. You're anything but." He slowly points over at Tzoli's corpse, but does not look at it. "The proof is right there. And right here, in front of me." He forces a weak smile, "You...you sound different."
Tzoli looks upward and smiles, hugging her arms around her torso. "I gotta make sure yah kin undarstand whah I'm sayin." She says, looking back with a wink. She laughs, her voice bright, soft, strangely serene. "I have no regrets any longer. I've serve my God and my friends." She looks over to Morhion and smiles. "Morhion, become a man again. You don't need me for that. You're like the father I never had." She turns back to Aanson. "And you... I... I've never felt peace like I did with you. When the times are hard, call on me and I'll try to be with you."
Aanson rubs at the corner of his eyes, wiping away moisture. "You...seem happier, now." His forced smiled becomes a bit more genuine, but he seems to be on the verge of some sort of breakdown. "Know that I'll think of you. Wherever it is you go. Balor, or...or elsewhere." He slowly sheaths his dagger, and sighs. "Thank you," he murmurs.
Tzoli touches her heart, then reaches out to Aanson again. "You'll find everything you ever wanted, I know it. You'll find everything... and you'll be happy. Alright?" She smiles and takes a step to Aanson. "Trust in Them. Trust okay? Trust and maybe in the next life we all be happy together. All of us. My mum, you, me, Zarika, Lia, Niko, Rylian... everyone. We'll all be happy in the next life."
Morhion rumages through his bag and removes the entire parchment as he listens as Aanson converces with Tzoli who he cannot see.
"I will." Aanson says, hunching over and very much looking his age. "I will. But...but..." His smile begins to fade, "When it is...my time, I do not think She will allow me to join you." He begins to hold out a hand, but perhaps realizing Tzoli's condition, he soon brings it back. "You, though. You will be happy."
Morhion walks over to Tzoli's body his form now covered once again and he lays a piece of parchment on her bloodied chest...his voice is low at first until he begins to say something obviously known quite well...
"It will be fine. We'll all be together. I've been good enough for the both of us. I shine." Tzoli laughs and nods once. "I'll stand up fer yah." She flexes her ethereal arm and grins birghtly. "I love you Aanson. I didn't mean to. It was an accident you know. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I didn't get enough time. But... it's alright. I trust in the Gods, this was meant to be. I'm glad I could protect you... I want you to live and be happy. I want you to live."
"I warned you, you know," Aanson says quietly, and he can't hold back the tears any longer. He does not sob, but they flow, nonetheless. "I told you this would happen." He chuckles bitterly, "Thank you, Tzoli. I suppose that's all I can do, now. Live."
Tzoli begins to fade from sight, "Take care of the children for me. Tell them a good story. Tell them I was brave and I was strong to the end." She smiles, "I'll miss them all. My rings... sell them and give the money to the orphanage. And my hammer... well, sacrifice it to Balor for me. Sacrifice it for me." She laughs. "You didn't do this. I did. I did this. not you. Don't you ever blame yourself. This is who I am. A warrior to the end. I had to fight. You know I had to. You know that I had no choice. Maybe The Gods will be kind to me at my judgement." She smiles and walks forward to Aanson. "I should have been dead ages ago. I was blessed that I lived long enough to meet you. People like me aren't meant for the world.."
"...I shall never forget you my Beloved....never..." Morhion's claw-like hands begin to tremble, and as he finishes he turns around slowly and walks towards the Eastern Gates leaving...allowing Aanson to speak with her spirit. His movements are shambled. His body shows of one lost; lost to everything.
Tzoli waves to Aanson, brushing her ethereal lips over his lips. "I love you. Don't be sad for me. I'm happy now. I dead and now I'm happy. I've lived my purpose." She smiles. "I know you can be strong. I know you'll find peace... I'll be here..." She brushes her hand over Aanson's heart. "I promise. Don't lose yourself and you'll find happiness."
On the Far Shore of Death
A low, gray sky like a leaden shroud covers this unreal land, illuminated at
the edges of visibiliy as if, in this sky, there were no sun; the glow of
everlasting and colourless twighlight simply exists, suffused with the air
itself. It, the spectral light, casts a dreary peace on fine, white sand
beneath - the shore of a spaceless sea, molten lead itself and lapping
eternally with hushed waves, the river of death. You, yourself, are formless,
but not alone; there are others that can be felt, but not seen. To sight,
there is only the sky above, the sand beneath, the sea behind, and ahead: only
ethereal fog, an expanse of nothingness.
You think to yourself: 'I am ready now. I am ready to go now. Morhiag... Balor... Gods... take me. Keep them happy without me. I am ready to be judged as you will.'